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2020.09.19 04:19 fcatthepanerabread A week in your favorite firearm dealer's not-so erotic life *or* FC's tale of two grandmas! 9/18/2020

Friday 9/11/2020 to Friday 9/18/2020
I won't do the play by play. It's more fun to just amalgamate the highlight reel of the week.
Emails!
Subject: Sig P226
Message: Will trade for RAS-47?
FC: Sure. What do you propose?
I have a century arms RAS47 that has 30 total rounds through it. Magpul furnishing blk on blk.
FC: Right, you told me that earlier. Shipped or picked up? What value do you put on your trade?
Meet in person I’m in Lafayette. Value 900-1000.
FC: Okay, so I'm supposed to give you asking price for what reason? I have to resell that gun, so I'm supposed to buy it from you for $900 and sell it again for $800?
I was looking for a straight trade so you’d only have to sell it for what your asking for the Sig, or more if you're good at your job. AK's are definitely a hotter demand item right now. I’d prefer if you could text me (number)
(Editors note: FC does not text. Only drug dealers do business via text message.)
FC: Let me get this right. You want a straight trade so I only have to sell it for what I'm asking for the Sig. I have to do the work of selling two guns so I can make the same money?
You can sell an AK for more then the Sig in the current market. I’m just stating how easy it is for you to break even worse case scenario.
FC: There's a lot of gun guys in the breaking even business. I'm not one of them. Plus, if it's so easy to sell an AK, why don't you sell it and bring me cash?
It’s a trade so your only selling one anyways. Plus all will sell a lot faster... I’m not a dealer I don’t have people walking in looking for guns. Whatever easy sale and flip for ya but your loss bud
FC: Selling an Sig 9mm plus selling an AK is two guns. You must have gotten that common core math. I'll tell you what. You think it will sell fast? Bring it over here and leave it with me. I'll tag it and put it out at $1200 and when it sells, I'll have a 226 ready for you.
(No response)
Subject: Sig P220 on Gunbroker
Message: your ad says $1200 with CCL. arkansas ccl is reciprical with louisiana will you honor that?
FC: Picking up in person? No. Reciprocal for carry not for anything else like NICS exemption.
are you a federal firearms dealer ?
FC: No I am not.
(Editors note: I'm a manufacturer)
if i can l can legally hold own and carry any firearm concealed on my body or in my vehicle , then the rest is just cash exchange between to citizens , i can legally have own and carry the p938 , there is nothing not legal , we cN do a orivate bill of sale photograph my dl and ccl incase soneonencommits a crime , i can have a truck full of guns all legal, i just have to do the background check again to be able to pick up at an ffl , nit requred to register or anything like that
(Editors note: I delete the message)
Subject: Glock 17 Gen 5 MOS $775
Message: Is that price for real?
FC: No, that's wrong. I'll fix it right now.
(I change it to $875 on the website)
LOL o shit he raised it another $100, sorry man that petty ass shit doesn’t bother me. Honestly it just makes u look like a fucking joke. You’re the problem with dealers, it’s hard to find glocks this month so let’s jack the price up $300 and try to rob someone that doesn’t know shit about guns. Adam Kennedy FF/PM (name of his fire department and department phone number, sent from his department email)
(I google his name and email. He's got a low serial number HK Mark 23 for sale for top dollar.)
FC: I sold 10 at the gun shows for top dollar, this is my last one. Nobody's getting stock. If you want a $625-650 gun, I've got plenty of those but Glocks are selling for top dollar and then some right now. For instance, if you had a low serial number Mark 23 with everything that nobody could get - wouldn't you want top dollar for it too?
I had a mk23 preban with original woodland operators bag, and original Wilcox attachments (well all but the IR) and I put it on the forums. I let people out bid themselves not post it for an absurd amount/hundreds above MSRP just because they are hard to find. The point is I’ve been in guns since around 2012, met some really genuine people and what sets that site apart is people seem to have a mutual respect for each other. I understand that you have a business and have to make a profit but if you can’t separate the two and not price gouge the absolute fuck out of very common items just because you feel you can. Then maybe that site isn’t the best place for you, 95% of the people on that site are individuals and when a business comes along and does that it’s a slap in the face.
FC: So, you accept that you want top dollar because your merchandise is hard to find and are willing to accept the fact that the harder something is to find - the more people are willing to pay for it. You do it, and it's okay. I do it and I'm trying to rob someone? That's called moving the goalposts where I come from. Like it or don't like it, check gunbroker and all the other dealers - everyone's getting top dollar. I just did a show last week where I was $975 on Gen 5 19's, $775 on 43X's and $700+ on all gen 3 guns. The dealer across the aisle from me had Gen 5 34's at $1000. We're in business to make money, and people are willing to pay these prices because they're so hard to find.
How do I accept that?? When I sold the mk23 I posted it for a set very fair price, people offered me more because they wanted it. And top dollar would be MSRP or close to, top dollar is NOT hundreds above MSRP. Let me ask you this, does Glock charge you more (the dealer) because they are selling a shit load of them and they are “hard to find??” Does what you pay for glocks as a FFL change as drastically as the prices you are charging based off the market?
FC: You wanted, and got as much money for your rare hard to find product as you could? That's called getting top dollar! The new ford bronco is going to sell for above MSRP. For THOUSANDS more. are you going to call Ford and complain about that? Of course not.H Hundreds above MSRP is what guns are selling for right now. If you had some for sale, are you telling me you'd sell them for hundreds less than you could? I have not gotten a wholesale gun in stock in months, I have been buying guns at retail to resell. Glock does not set prices and distributors have nothing to sell me - so your question is entirely ridiculous. Do you remember the last time around 7 or 8 years ago when Colt 6920's were $2500 and SCAR 17's were $5000? That was nowhere near MSRP and I didn't hear anyone complaining. Since you don't seem to like it at all, I suggest you leave public sector employment and try to run a business and pay the bills with no product coming in wholesale.
(Editors note: FC used to be a public servant. FC used to work in the fire department. FC knows that you can get in deep shit for sending profanity laced emails on city email account with email signature. I forward the email to his department chief with a polite message tactfully reminding him that all emails sent to a city email are preserved as public records.)
Subject: Noveske lower
Message: Would you be willing to do a one for one trade? I have a NIB Anderson lower. I’m specifically looking for one of a few specific brands of lower and Noveske happens to be one.
FC: So I'm supposed to trade you even up and sell an anderson for more money? BTW. CTD got lowers back in this morning. They're andersons and they want $199 for them but I don't think I'm going to be able to get that price.
(No response)
Phone calls!
A: Guy wants a folding bracestock. I ask him if he wants a brace or a stock. He does not know the difference. I ask him if he's building an SBR. He says he's building an SBR, specifically an SBA3. I die a little inside.
B: Guy calls looking for 100 rds of 38 special for his colt python. Drives up in his tesla and hands me a ritz calrton titanium black card. $75/100 okay? No problem. He asks if I have any more at that price. I tell him as much as he wants.
C: Endless calls for 9mm and 380 ammo.
D: Guy calls me asking for a Glock 43X. He comes in and looks. I tell him $775 as he's holding an Amex. I say I'll do better for cash. $775 out the door. He says deal. Comes back the next week with $575 cash and I look at him funny. I paid $550 for the gun retail but he owns the Chickfila 20 miles up the road and gives me a stack of be our guest chicken sandwich coupons. I begrudgingly accept.
E: Lady calls me she's headed to the range in a few hours. She needs 500 rds of 40S&W and some 380.
Me: I got it. 500 rounds of 40 - $350
1: $350?
Me: $350.
1: No, no no!
Me: Yes, yes, yes.
1: It can't be $350! That's $350! That just can't be!
Me: Welcome to 2020
1: Well the 380 ammo is cheaper right?
Me: Not really. You're looking at $65 a box.
1: No, no no!
Me: Nobody's got ammo right now and we're getting top dollar. That's the price, feel free to shop around.
She never calls me back.
F: Guy calls me asking about my Federal 115gr 9mm. Cheapest on Ammoseek is $57 a box. I don't want to be that high so I price it at $55/box. He says how much for the case. I tell him 55 times 20. He's bad at math so I tell him that's $1100 for it all. He calls me an asshole. I tell him everyone's asking me to get 9mm ammo so I'm buying it retail and marking it up. He tells me not to buy it at retail and hangs up on me.
G: The gun club president calls me. the club needs a new 5.56 upper. I ask why. Someone shot 300 blackout through the old one and destroyed it. I tell them I don't have any uppers. I have complete rifles. Cheapest is $900 for an S&W sport M&P. I can hear his jaw dropping.
There's other miscellany but you get the gist of it.
NOW here's the meat and potatoes you've wanted! The tale of the gun show!
Friday 9/11/2020
I take inventory. I'm down to about 350 guns in stock and I pack as much as I can and get it ready for the show. I've got some Sigs left, a handful of Glock and a mishmash of everything else. I head to bed early knowing full well the next show will be a good one. I bought a bunch of Glock 43X's retail.
Saturday 9/12/2020
I pull chocks at 615AM. This show is about an hour down the road from my house, the last time I was there I sold nothing all weekend, broke my oakleys and vowed never to return.
This time is gonna be different, I said to myself.
At 7AM I walk in and I start loading into the show. It's a small venue in the middle of MAGA country. Everyone wearing red hats and trump train shirts.
In a few hours the doors will open and we are off to the races. I will do hour blocks instead of my previous play by play for simplicity.
9AM: Slow start, the show is spread out across TWO buildings so they route people into the other side and it takes them about 30 minutes to make their way into the big room. First sale of the day is my last Sig 365. For $700. It takes an hour and a half to get his background check back.
10AM: Guy points at an FNS 40C and wants a deal. I make him a deal at $525 cash out the door. He says he'll come back and think about it a bit.
I sell a shield for $500.
I sell a Glock 43X for $775.
I sell a Glock 43 for $700.
For some reason everyone is calling me Daniel. It takes me an hour to realize it's because I'm wearing a gray Daniel Defense polo.
11AM: FNS40 guy is back. He says it's a deal. I hand him a clipboard. he hands me an already filled out 4473 like another dealer rejected his sale. It's folded over on the long side and I tell him to fill out my form in front of me.
10 minutes later he hands me the pre filled out folded form thinking that I'm stupid.
You gotta be shitting me. I park his ass in a chair hand him a pen and tell him to start writing.
He fills it out. I enter in his background check and it does not come back right away. He gets antsy.
12PM: FNS 40 guy wants his money back. I refund it and keep $100 for me. I grab my tablet and someone has swiped right on my bumble. We begin chatting and I ask her if she wants to go to dinner. She's a little older, in her 40's and works for a bank. What the hell, why not.
Someone asks me what it takes to suppress his beretta 92. I tell him he needs a threaded barrel. They run $250. Someone overhears me and brings by his S&W 5906 and expects me to get a threaded barrel for $250.
Guy asks me to bring the threaded barrel tomorrow. I say sure.
1PM: Lady comes by and asks me if I have any 5.7's. She's on the phone reading down my inventory. I ask her if the gun is for her or her friend. She says for her. I show her the 5.7 on the table and roll my eyes a bit.
2PM: 5.7 lady comes by with her butch lesbian lover. She tells me its a deal and I hand her the clipboard. She fills everything out with lots of errors. I get her background check in and I tell her $1375
Her jaw drops. She was looking at the FNS 9mm for $575 next to it and didn't think that 5.7 pistols were $1375. She coughs reeking of weed. I void the sale.
Guy walks up asking me for 70% silencers. I just laugh.
3PM: Another guy comes over asking me if I got a 5.7. I tell him yes. He says he's got $1000 right now for a 5.7. I tell him I'll take $1000 as a down payment. He laughs and is adamant that I take this $1000 for a 5.7 tagged at $1375.
I ask him if he's got cash and all his ID and everything. He's on the phone it's actually for a friend of his. I ask him if his friend can get here before the show closes at 5. His friend has no CWL so his wife has to buy it but he's going to pay for it.
This guy is barking up the wrong tree. I go back and help someone else. He's looking at a Springfield XD I've brought and asks me if I'm making any deals. I tell him we're not doing a lot of discounting at the show. He shrugs and says he tried.
Another guy asks me for a Glock 43X. I walk him over to the stack and show him the tag at $775. He scoffs at me and walks away.
4PM: Show starts slowing down. I write up a Sig P238 Tribal and a P938 BRG for some customers at $700 each. I write up a S&W M&P15 sport for $900 as my last sale of the day. The lady was super nice and understanding when I pointed out the errors on her 4473.
5PM: Time to go home! I dump off some transfers to another dealer and hit the road. It's an hour to get back home.
6PM: I take a shower, shave and get to the restaurant for dinner.
7PM: I'm at the restaurant waiting at the table and I discover that the woman that said she was in her 40's is actually a 58 year old grandma of 2. Someone shoot me. She says she's not that hungry and proceeds to order soup, salad, a martini, an espresso and dessert. She's ordered $65 in F&B to my $35 steak. This was a complete waste of an evening.
My depression worsens and not even a bowl of mint chocolate chip can break me out of this funk. My will to live is eroding by the minute. I fall asleep at midnight and set my alarm for 747AM. I make a mental note to move up my therapist.
Sunday August 16th
747AM. Wake up, take a swig of orange juice and run down to the deli and grab a sandwich and get down to the show. I grab a threaded barrel for a Beretta 92 on my way down. Note: The guy never shows up for that barre.
10AM: Get to the show and uncover my tables and get cranking. It's a slow start to the day. My first sale is a Springfield XD. The show goes on and I write up an FNS for someone. The customer writes the check out payable to HK NO COMPROMISE.
I look at them confused.
FC: Why is this check made out to HK?
1: That's what it says on your shirt, HK NO COMPROMISE - that's the name of your company, right?
FC: sigh
11AM: Guy wants a can without a tax stamp. 5
12PM: Someone walks over. Points at my stack of silencers
1: I can't pick one of those up here!
FC: You got two arms don't you?
1: I mean I can't buy one here!
FC: If you got money you can buy one!
1: You're a real smartass you know that!
FC: Beats being a dumbass!
The peanut gallery laughs at our exchange.
1PM: Guy wants to buy a Walther P22. Fills out the front sheet of the 4473. Satisfied with his answer, he turns the page along the perforation, rips it off and proudly hands the top sheet to me.
I die a little bit inside.
2PM: 7 different husband/wife combos ask me for shield EZ pistols. I write up my last M&P 15 sport I brought to the show for $900. It's a good day! I debated bringing another but I figured selling two for the weekend would be plenty.
3PM: The lady that bought that S&W M&P15 yesterday? She wants another one. I have three left on the shelf. I take her money and tell her I'll meet her at the show next week and she says no problem and does all her paperwork. u/throwawayfire343 's coronavirus infected ass shows up and needles me on a gun.
1: How much do you want for this $150 gun?
FC: About 350
1: really
FC: Gimme $200 and fill the goddamn form right
1: deal!
I take his money and wrap up a few other folks and get ready to pack up and head home. He does the form right much to my chagrin.
4PM: Show is closed. I start packing up. I snag 500 rds of 9mm off the dealer across the show. He started with a full pallet. Most of it is gone. Price? $500/thousand. I am packed up and on the road in a little under an hour.
5PM: Homeward bound........I wish I was........HOMEWARD BOUND..............
I hit the truck stop for some diesel and a cold fountain drink.
630PM: I get back to my desk and dump off a fucking STACK of 4473's. I make a bank drop for the cash and I unload and head back home. I'm starving, I go grocery shopping and grab some comestibles. I cook myself dinner and head home.
Monday September 14th
10AM: My back is out and my depression is worse than ever. I don't know what hurts more, my back or my brain. I head in and get my 4473's worked on from the show.
11AM: Guy asks me to get some 9mm ammo for him held until after work. No problem. He says he'll be here at 445 after he gets out off at 430. He works around the corner.
12PM: Lunchtime. It's Chicken Bacon Ranch day at the market. I'm starving. I grab my keys and get ready to leave when I get a call from a lady from the gun club. She wants one of my last Sig 938's. I tell her to come by, I'll delay lunch for her.
1PM: Laura shows up and spends 45 minutes with me trying to decide on which 938 she wants. She has no intention of shooting this gun she just wants one in case antifa shows up. She leaves and says she will come back in 45 minutes. Great, I can go to lunch now.
2PM: It try to go to lunch. I am not successful. Laura calls me asking me more questions and tells me she has another friend wanting the same gun. I tell her I will put my lunch on hold and she can come on by.
She and her friend debate Sig 938's for a while and each of them buy a gun. I got a twofer! Woo! This calls for a celebration called lunch.
3PM: I get a call from a semi regular. This guy buys a gun or two a year. He's getting his concealed license and does not want the government to know he's buying guns. So he's sending his wife in to do the 4473 for his birthday present, a Wilson CQB 1911 they've purchased off gunbroker. I tell him great, send her over and I'll get her paperwork done. I get ready to go to lunch. The phone rings, Laura and her friend want more of my time. Fine. I will put my lunch on hold. Come on over.
4PM: Laura and her friend come over and Laura suggests that I give each of them a few Sig 938 7 rd pinky extension mags for free since they just bought two guns. I look at them in great pain.
Women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. I'm sorta in a woman hating mood after this week but I don't want to take it out on them. I explain politely that NOBODY is getting free goods right now. if you want mags, I have three left. They spent 25 minutes arguing with me and then they decide to buy all three mags. Great. Terrific. I'm going to lunch now. Your business is appreciated now GTFO. The guy that wanted me to reserve 9mm ammo for him? Yeah he no showed.
5PM: Beef jerky lunch time. I get my keys and get ready to walk out the door. The wife of Wilson Combat buyer is running errands and can be over here. Sure, come on down. I'll be here. She does all her paperwork and we talk for 2 hours about how autistic you all say I am and how not autistic she says I am. Nice lady. She brought me gummy bears. I tell her I am clearly on the spectrum because I behave and think exactly like her autistic son. She fails to believe me.
7PM: I can finally go have lunch! I go to the Olive Garden for lunch.
815PM: I get home from the OG. This is not going well. My colon does not like the pasta and breadsticks. I spend the next hour and a half making three trips to the throne. This fucking week. And it's only sunday. God damn.
I take a tylenol PM and sleep it off.
Tuesday September 15th
10AM: I get in and start catching up on vendor calls and paperwork.
11AM: UPS rolls in with a wilson and some piece of shit suppressor from some company. I call Lisa and tell her that the package is here and she can pick it up anytime. She says she will be right over.
12PM: Lisa gets her gun and thanks me with some things she got at walgreens. Red hots, and pens. I laugh. I tell her it's fine. She's confused. Her autistic son always liked Red Hots and pens.
1PM: I swing over to the deli and it's Monday. They have hot browns today. I love a hot brown. I grab one and check in on facebook telling the world of my discovery. So many great job poopin memes and comments ensue.
2PM: I call the guy who's got the el cheapo 556 can. He's pissed. That can was supposed to be sent to another dealer across town. I tell him his options.
A: I can do his form 4 and charge him my hourly.
B: I can ship it back to the vendor and charge him my hourly.
C: I can ship it to the dealer across town and charge him my hourly.
He's PISSED and tells me to do the forms for him. I tell him email me all the info and I'll get it done. I get an email in GMAIL CONFIDENTIAL MODE.
What's CONFIDENTIAL MODE? It's a self destructing email you can't reply to, forward or cut and paste from - which makes this useless since I have to cut and paste all the info he's given me. I tell him I need the data in a different format. He yells at me about PII and stuff and I offer to do the form 4 in front of him. He relents and emails me what I need. It's missing a birthday. No biggie. I email him a draft and he says it looks lfine.
3PM: The guy comes by and he's pissed at the vendor and takes it out on me. I tell him if he does not want to do the forms from me, I can send it to the dealer across town. He's mad as hell and I've discounted my rate to $100 as a goodwill gesture.
1: You're charging me $100?
FC: Yes
1: But you're not doing anything.
FC: Here's the checklist.
1: The other place did my photos, fingerprints and everything and charged me $100.
FC: Great. I'm not spending $8000 on a fingerprint scanner to make it back $100 at a time.
1: So you're not doing anything.
FC: I did these forms correctly as you asked.
1: But you didn't even do my fingerprints! Or my passport photos! What the hell am I paying you for?
FC: Why'd they send the item here/
1: Hell if I know! You should call them and find out!
FC: You want me to call them?
1: Well you dealers have a special phone number and email. They won't answer my calls or my emails.
FC: What makes you think they're going to answer mine?
1: You're a dealer! You have a special back office phone number to reach them that I don't have, right?
FC: Are you kidding me?
1: No! You all have that special communication system that the public has no access to!
FC: Gimme your $100 and get these forms reviewed, I've got another customer to help in a bit.
1: You mean I gotta mail it out too! The other place did that for me!
FC: You want me to mail it? I'll mail it. Get the prints done, get the photos taken and get the form filled out and I'll mail it.
1: The other place answered all the questions for me!
FC: I. DON'T. CARE.
1: I am really upset about all this you're charging me the same money and you're doing no work!
FC: You want this can?
1: Yeah
FC: Then follow my instructions.
He pulls out three credit cards with damaged magnetic stripes that won't work. I manually key the card and I'm now working for $96.50 dealing with the biggest pain in the ass I've seen since operation machinegun salvage in 2019.
4PM: I have to go to fedex to drop off today's orders. 1000 rds of 22 leave the building for $189.48. A bunch of mags to the west coast and a Sig P220 are leaving.
5PM: Make it to Fedex where I say hi to Cathy and the gang. I swing by the market on the way home and grab some shredded romaine and a thin cut top sirloin.
545PM: Now I told you this story was a tale of TWO grandmas. Here's the second. I get a call from my attorney buddy Eddie, my partner at the consulting company. He got a call from a lady needing help with some ATF Forms. He knew it wasn't his area of expertise and wanted to know if I could do it. I said send the details my way. He tells me it's an older lady and to expect an email. Moments later I get an email from him.
Subject: Forms for Karen Witherspoon
Message: Will, attached is ATF correspondence from ATF to Karen, I think you can fix this. Thanks!
I look at the attachment.
NOTICE OF TAKING DEPOSITION DUCES TECUM - State of Louisiana vs Billy Bob Ray Thibodeaux
FC: Eddie, I got your deposition notice not the ATF forms
Eddie: Whoops
FC: If that's the worst thing that happens this week it's not a bad week.
Eddie: She knows you're charging her I didn't give her a price.
FC: Lemme look at it and see what we got.
6PM: I call Karen and ask her some details. Her husband was a former licensee/SOT and left a machinegun behind when he died. She did ATF Form 5 and got some errors and needs help fixing it. Just as I'm on the phone with her Eddie emails me the packet.
It's bad and riddled with errors. Out of 20 fields that all need to be filled out correctly, 12 are wrong. And not a little wrong. A LOT wrong.
I won't get into it here but I might in a separate post.
ATF wants the forms back at their facility in 30 days. The mailing date was 2 weeks ago. Which means these forms need to be corrected RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and sent out. Oh and she's got no fingerprint cards.
I tell her that I can drop everything I'm doing this evening, go over everything with a fine tooth comb and have this done in a few hours and I can drop them off tomorrow. She says if I can make a house call that would be good since she has furniture movers coming to empty their house in the morning. I tell her no problem. $350 and I'll see her tomorrow.
I run down all the forms and fix everything. I do a public records search and pull court filings for the probate and print them off and enclose them as ATF requested.
$350 for basically an hour's worth of work isn't bad. There's a steak/bottle of wine split for Eddie in there since it was his lead.
8PM: I call Karen back and tell her I've got everything done but ATF needs a copy of the will. She says she has it. I got everything else they asked off the clerk's website. She's super impressed. I tell her there's a reason Eddie called me.
9PM: Time to cook dinner. My phone is about to die. Just as I plug it in I get a call from u/fat_italian_stallion
He NEVER calls me unless something's up.
We had a quick chat over the weekend at the gun show that went something like this
FC: So that's how I got catfished by a grandma on bumble
FIS: LOL that is epic bad. I'm in New Orleans for a week on vacation with the gf
FC: The psycho one?
FIS: You know it.
FC: If you need bail money let me know
FIS: I just might!
That was Sunday morning. It's tuesday night. My phone dies as I try talking to him. I switch to my landline and call him.
FC: What up?
FIS: I need a solid
FC: How bad is it this time?
FIS: Can I sleep at your house tonight? She went nuts again and attacked me.
FC: I told you not to get invovled with her didn't I?
FIS: She's hot!
FC: You know I'm like 3 hours away from you right?
FIS: Yeah I got a half tank of gas.
FC: Go fill it, here's the address. See you around midnight. You hungry?
FIS: Starving.
FC: I was getting ready to fix dinner. I'll see you at midnight. Get here when you get here.
9PM-1145PM: I fix up the guest suite and prepare dinner. I run to the Target near my house since they close at 10 and grab a few more things. I get back just before 10 and I prepare to fire up the grill and get a steak going, salad and a fresh ravioli dish drowned in Rao's tomato basil sauce is on the menu. Steak hits the fire at 1130 and is resting by 1145. I plate everything and have it on the table at midnight.
1145PM: I get some spare towels and hotel soaps and shampoos. I head out to the driveway and turn on all my lights and leave the garage door open. I set a lawn chair up and crack open a large bag of boom chicka pop poprcorn and await the arrival of one u/fat_italian_stallion
1204AM: u/fat_italian_stallion rolls up. I've got guns and roses "Used to love her" playing on the ipad
FC: sup?
FIS: Long day.
FC: Dinner's on the table. Lets eat.
Wednesday September 16th
We eat and go to sleep. fat_italian_stallion does not know I have slid my spare ipad into the guest suite on the nightstand.
Did you know you can set an alarm on an ipad to instead of making a noise to play a song?
757AM: The ipad alarm wakes up fat_italian_stallion. The song? A little band called Confederate Railroad blasting "I like my women a little on the trashy side." He'll have to tell you the rest of the story.
9AM: I chat with fat italian and we chat a bit skipping breakfast. He has decided to leave this godforsaken state and put some miles between him and the psycho. I don't blame him one bit.
10AM: Breakfast! I throw on a charcoal canali and hit the chickfila drive thru for some breakfast chicken biscuits. I head to my desk and get some paperwork and some calls done.
11AM: I get a call from my attorney buddy Sam. He wants to know how many laws his client who has sent in a Form 1 and not notified the CLEO has broken. I explain I was just having that debate with someone on the internet! It's not a big deal but still kinda a big deal. Our consensus is that it's not count one on the indictment but it could be count five or six.
12PM: Lunchtime. I'm not hungry so I skip lunch. I head to meet with the grandma with the MG and I go over all her new forms that she needs to get fixed with fingeprint cards and my notes. She's super appreciative and gives me $350 in cash. She can't find the will. I call her attorney that I know and he's not picking up. I tell her see if she can get an original copy of the will from the clerks office or from the attorneys office, they normally have a copy.
I ask her what plans she has for the gun. I mean, what's a grandma supposed to do with a registered Colt M16?
All her husbands friends wanted it and they all offered her the same amount so she didn't need it and decided to sell it. She's taking the $5000 she's getting and going on an Alaskan cruise with the grandkids after the world calms down. I shrug. She should have called me.
2PM: Back at my desk, I call the judge's chambers that's doing the probate. Judge Smith LOVES the 308 that I got him a few years ago and is super pleased with my services since he didn't tell the wife about his purchase and I had just gotten a damaged case of 308 PMC Bronze that I made him a hell of a deal on that UPS wrote off. I tell the JA that ATF probably isn't going to call but in case they do just be ready. She's super glad that I told her ahead of time so she can be ready.
Judge Smith is retiring in a few months and he's got some time in the schedule so she patches me through and we catch up for a little bit. I am told that they're going to try to do a COVID compliant socially distanced retirement disrobing party but it's all up in the air. I say if you all need someone to bring potato salad to let me know. As a stalwart of the legal community for many years, lots of folks know the judge so it's well deserved after 20+ years on the bench. As I am also well known in the legal communty the least I can do is show up with a bottle of red for the guy that's signed hundreds of form 4's for me over the years.
3PM: I ship out a few more pistols and sell an M1A scout squad to a guy in California. Not a bad day.
4PM: I'm done for this week. Between the gun show and getting catfished and everything I've earned some time off. I think I'm gonna take the rest of the week off. The phone rings and a guy wants some 9mm ammo. I sell him 500 rds at $375 plus shipping.
Thursday September 17th to Friday September 18th: I wrote this for you all to read.
PS - and this is how you do a "week in the life" thread, you fucking imposter. https://www.reddit.com/guns/comments/i759qj/a_week_in_the_life_of_your_favorite_firearm/
submitted by fcatthepanerabread to guns [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 19:21 IdolA18Sep1l Wed-ding Ni-ght S-ex Po-rn

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submitted by IdolA18Sep1l to u/IdolA18Sep1l [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 19:18 HaulA18Sep1l Big Bo-obs Po-rn S-ex

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submitted by HaulA18Sep1l to u/HaulA18Sep1l [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 21:30 cscqsim_repostbot A /r/cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

A /cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

With our final school year beginning, we were reflecting on how lost and confused we were when we first started university. We made a lot of mistakes (still am) along the way, but we’re in a much better place after learning from them and constantly putting ourselves out there. In hopes of shining some light and helping others, we decided to make a comprehensive guide for university students – based on our knowledge/experiences - on how to start your successful CS Career (or gain the wisdom to avoid CS altogether, more on this later).
rishiss Background: I am a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Software Engineering. I am an incoming Software Engineer at a F100 company (received return offer after interning this summer). Before that, I interned at an R & D center for space, a small cloud company, and a small IT company. I have a 3.65 GPA, won a few awards at startup competitions/hackathons, and remain pretty active in my schools CS organizations.
chaitu65c Background: I’m a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Computer Science. I’m currently a SWE Intern at a Unicorn and just wrapped up my 2nd internship at a Live Streaming Company(you can most likely tell who they are if you browse my history LOL). Before this, I interned at my school’s IT department, did research under a professor, and worked on a few small startups that other UCI students were building. I have a 3.3 GPA, won some awards along rishiss and was pretty active in my school’s CS clubs.
Disclaimer: “But rishiss/ and chaitu65c, you don’t work at a Big N, go to a target CS school, why should I take your advice?” You’re absolutely right; we are, by no means, ‘up there’ like some other folks on this sub. And, you don’t have to take our advice! Simply close this tab and do whatever else you want 😊. Our intent is to guide and prepare uni students for a CS career they enjoy, not work at Big N or get the highest TC. Life is much more than a dick-measuring contest, and the earlier you learn that the better.
We have also created a guide with our own personal advice/stories

Please, take this advice with a grain of salt. we’re not Tony Robinson or Tim Apple, we’re just two random reddit users.

Table of Contents:

This guide is divided into the following sections:

Is CS Right For Me?

The way we see it, there’s 3 types of people pursuing CS.
  1. Those who know CS isn’t for them – They’re in it for the money, to appease their parents, for a minorequirement, some external factor. They hated programming while taking the introductory CS course and just try to get done with their class/degree ASAP.
Advice: The majority of people who fall under this usually burn out quickly, as they aren’t motivated enough to learn the material and to apply themselves. This usually leads to them cheating and getting kicked out of their major, minor, or university altogether. Even if you manage to earn a degree, we've seen a large number of these folks endure a 'pre-mature' mid-life crisis or simply get fired from their jobs. Before you even start this major, you should definitely understand that this isn’t going to be easy, and you do have to put in a lot of effort to succeed. If this isn’t your cup of tea, definitely look into switching into another major you like.
Some folks are really passionate about technology, but don't want to pursue an entire Computer Science major or see themselves as Software Engineers. That's completely ok! Try looking into related majors or minors. We know many students who switched from CS to majors like Informatics, Business Information Management, and Economics and are thriving in tech-related roles like Data Analytics, Product Management, UI/UX Design, and Technical Recruiting. CS is not (and should not be) for everyone, and there is no shame in having the wisdom quit and move on.
  1. Those who don’t know if CS is for them – Where most of the CS community is IMO. These folks (like me, rishiss) are riddled with something called Imposter Syndrome: “the constant feeling of not being good enough or knowing enough to do your job well.”
Advice: For students, really take the time to learn and be open to anything you go through. Try sticking it out until you've taken a Data Structures course, one of the harder, more important courses out there. If you're not understanding the material or just aren't having fun with it, it’s definitely ok to switch majors/careers. Otherwise, CS just might be the career for you! Give it your best shot!
Admittedly, it's hard to provide stronger insight to overcoming Imposter Syndrome, as I am afflicted by it as well. For me, my IS derives from constantly comparing myself to others and confusing inexperience with incompetency. As such, I continue to work and focus on myself and take baby steps towards smaller goals I set out for myself. Knowing that I've put the effort to improve myself by just 1% everyday has made me a lot more confident.
  1. Those who know for a fact CS is for them – The diamonds in the rough. Learning and practicing CS material gives them a euphoric high.
Advice: Broaden your scope and learn new areas of CS! Who knows, you might find another new field that you really want to work in. Other than that, definitely make new friends regardless of whether they’re a CS major or not. Even try pursuing other hobbies like weightlifting, reading, dancing, or even public speaking. Don't limit yourself!

Freshman Year

We recommend not taking more than 3-4 classes in your first quartesemester, as you shouold keep an ample amount of time to go to professional/social events, make new friends and hang out with them, and pursue your interests.
We've seen a lot of freshmen (and upperclassmen) CS folks get cooped up in their dorm rooms playing video games and watching TV. We understand that these two are a passion for many, but please be cautious to not get consumed by them.
You have the privilege of pursuing higher education, making valuable connections/memories, and setting up your CS career in the trajectory you want. This year is the best year to take advantage of all that university has to offer; make the most of it.
One of the best ways to get involved in your school’s/region’s CS community is by joining clubs like ACM and WICS and participating in hackathons (see ‘Hackathon’ section below). Try pursuing internships and positions in these organizations and events as well!
One, major issue we see with freshmen (even upperclassmen) is their ignorance on all the avenues available in the CS Industry. So we’ve tried to narrow it down (not exhaustive).
  1. Cyber Security Engineer
  2. Front-End Web Developer
  3. Backend Web Developer
  4. UI/UX Designer
  5. DevOps/Cloud/Site-Reliability Engineers
  6. Mobile Engineer
  7. QA Engineer
  8. Product Manager
  9. Data Scientist (Machine Learning/AI)
  10. Embedded Software Engineer
  11. Systems Administrator
  12. Database Administrator (The Wizards)
  13. Networking Engineer
  14. Hardware Engineer
  15. OS Developer
  16. Video Game Developer
  17. Solutions Architect/Sales EngineeTechnical Account Manager
As a freshman, definitely take the time and see if you can picture yourself doing any of the listed fields. You should open yourself to all facets of CS and not just the “hot field” like Data Science and Machine Learning. Choosing a field because it’s “exciting” will usually lead to bad results as usually, other people are thinking just like you and will lead to over-saturation.
Our recommendation is to select the top 5 fields that have piqued your interest and experiment with the field. For example, if you are interested in Mobile App Development, try learning how to build an Android app from the ground up. A simple weather app or alarm clock is completely suitable for a first project/prototype. This lets you understand what skills you would need for this field and can serve as a forecast as to what your career would look like.
You should definitely look for an internship. Ignore the people that tell you to wait until you’re a junior, as it’s going to be very hard to get an internship if you don’t have any experience. Common places that most students don’t realize are available are usually IT departments at your school and even research with professors. Researching is highly recommended as you can definitely learn more about a field you can be interested in and if you’re interested in graduate school, that’s going to be a letter of recommendation that you can ask for.
If you’re considered a minority in Computer Science, look into first and second year internship programs as they’re meant to help you succeed. Here’s some programs that come to mind:
Google STEP
Microsoft Explore
Amazon Future Engineer
Uber STARInternhip
Facebook University
Another way to get internships is to research into smaller companies in your area. If the company is very small (<100 employees), consider reaching out to the CEO on LinkedIn. They might be able to help you! Also, take advantage of university recruiting websites like Handshake to see companies that directly hire from your school. More info on how to get an internship in the ‘Searching for an Internship’ section.

Sophomore Year

Now that you have basic programming knowledge, create your own website or GitHub account and start contributing to them with small personal projects. Nobody expects you to make a full-stack MERN project hosted and scaled on AWS at this stage. Focus instead on clean code, learning a framework or two on a language you like, and creating a small, robust feature. Grow from there!
If you weren’t able to find an internship/research opportunity as a freshman, community involvement, projects, and hackathons become especially important, as they are a great way to make you stand out on your resume and to recruiters when you reapply. As you brush up on your skills, apply again, and try your luck out.

Data Structures and Algorithms

In addition, you are most likely to take a Data Structures and Algorithms course this year. Make sure you are focusing on this class and writing good notes; you will need this knowledge when interviewing for internships and full-time jobs in the near future. Here is a link to our DS and A course (in C++) for reference

Junior Year

As a junior, companies are more willing to hire you for an internship, as they are likely to convert you into a full-time employee after graduating. This transition process is much easier than interviewing, and they'll usually offer you a higher compensation package if they want to convert you to a full-time employee. As you now should have knowledge of Data Structures and Algorithms, we highly recommend looking into coding interview prep sites like LeetCode and HackerRank or purchasing a prep book like CTCI or EPI (advanced).
Continue to attend hackathons, remain active in clubs/organizations, and grow your portfolio.
Classes will be much harder; expect the time for completing projects to double and the content covered to be much more difficult. We recommend taking no more than 2-3 upper-division CS courses and balancing your load with 1-2 GE classes. You should not be taking more than 16 units (assuming 4 units per course).
Start to get an idea of what field in CS you would like to pursue. Research what it takes to be successful in that field. You can do so by looking up job postings with that title on LinkedIn and looking at the requested skill set or take a look at Roadmap.sh. If you want to learn more about a related skill set and your school doesn't offer a course, consider picking up a class on udemy.com.

Senior Year

Focus heavily on your senior capstone, project classes, etc. as they're the last thing you can put on your resume before applying for full time. By now, you should have at least 3 polished, working projects on your GitHub that you can easily talk about with your recruiter. Preferably, they're aligned with the CS field you wish to enter.
If you were able to get a return offer from an internship, congrats! However, don’t immediately sign the offer. Once you have an offer, you should still try to interview at companies that you’re interested in by the deadline of the time to accept the offer. A good way of doing this is to reach out to a University recruiter for that company and explain the deadline you have. Usually, they’re really helpful and can potentially help skip interviews that you were supposed to do!
In addition, if your friends were able to intern at places you’re interested in, definitely ask for a referral or to send your resume to their recruiter. This usually reduces the risk of being ghosted by that company and increases your chances of getting hired!
Once you finally sign, definitely take the time to relax and enjoy. Just make sure you pass your classes and stay out of trouble

Classes:

What Classes should I take?

Should Already be Required:

Must Take:

Good to Have

How do I succeed in these classes?

rishiss: You’re more than likely coughing up hundreds, if not thousands, to attend university. It makes no sense to not take full advantage of the course and course staff.
The way I take notes: I learn from examples; I want to enter my code into the IDE to see what happens. I do a three way split; Google Docs on the left, IDE on top right and terminal (to compile, see output, make new file, etc) on bottom left. I note down the date and topic of the lecture and write questions I have in the comments on Docs. I make sure to highlight important information and possible test questions. I even share the link with friends!

In the quarters where I followed the steps above, I never got a grade lower than an A-.

Dealing with Bad Professors

During your time in college, you’re likely going to have at least one bad professor that might make it worse if you have to go to class. If that’s the case, it’s definitely fine to not go to class (as long as it’s not mandatory). However, if you do decide not to go, you must make sure you learn the material, so you won’t be behind on the coursework and studying for tests. In addition, you should be doing something productive on the side. If you don’t go to class and spend the time watching Netflix or playing video games, you’re losing time that you can spend on something that might be fun and can help you in the long run.

You can take Graduate Courses!?

chaitu65c: A highly underutilized set of courses you can take would be graduate courses. Graduate courses are usually very specialized in certain fields. If you were able to take all the undergraduate courses you wanted and still have spare classes to fill out, I'd recommend researching into taking Graduate courses! They’re a good way to build out your specialization and learn new, cool stuff! In addition, if you’re looking for classes to reach the required number of CS courses needed, your CS department might allow you to make the course count towards your degree!

Projects

They're super important.

How do I succeed in class projects?

Personal Projects and your CS Career

rishiss: Projects are your saving grace, especially if you are lacking work experience. They show technical aptitude, willingness to take initiative, and leadership. I’ve seen people with only projects on their resume get positions at the Big N. Projects are good ways to expand your knowledge of CS as the possibilities are endless! It is best to have a variety of projects dealing with a variety of technologies. As such, you can open yourself up to more positions and have more talking points during the interview.
I tend to edit the ‘Project’ Section of my resume with relevant projects and technologies. For instance, if I made a full stack web application and applied to a DevOps organization, I would highlight my AWS, CI/CD, and Terraform experiences more than my React/Node js work.
It is recommend the project is about something that motivates you and are passionate about e.g. video games, movies, books, sports, etc., as it is very easy to give up half way due to stress or lack of motivation/interest.
Like anything else in Computer Science, projects require you to break it down into smaller pieces. Start with the end in mind and draw out the intended architecture/functionalities. Start with what you know and research on the parts you don't know after that. You will be using these skills often in industry for any project/feature planning.
Spending 15-30 minutes a day is all you need to make a successful personal project. Don't make excuses and get coding!

Open Source Contributions

If you’ve ever noticed popular github repositories such as torvalds/linux, these are repositories where people from all over the world can report issues with it and someone can fix it. If you are able to make a contribution to a huge open source repository, it looks really good on your resume.

Hackathons

What are Hackathons?

Hackathons are large scale coding events, where students from around the area come together and collaborate - usually in teams of 4 (but you can go solo or with a partner!) - to build some software. Companies like Amazon, Northrop Grumman, Google, and Twilio sponsor awards related to best use of their technology. After 24 - 48 hours of intensive coding, participants submit their projects, whether it be an Android video game, Chrome Extension, productivity web app, etc. Submissions are shared with the companies and other hackathon organizers, where they select the best projects and award teams with swag like keyboards, gift cards, and even summer internships at their company.
Participating in hackathons are one of the best ways to hone your coding skills, network with companies and other students, and get free comfy T-shirts. It is also one of the best ways to gain industry knowledge, as representatives from these companies and hackathon organizers create numerous workshops and answer any questions you may have. Winning awards at these hackathons are also great resume boosters and talking points during interviews.
The biggest hackathon organizer is Major League Hacking. Visit their website, and you can see all the hackathons (remote or local) they are partnered with. Make to be on the lookout for application release dates from the hackathons and apply early.
With Covid, you may miss out on the free goodies and the in-person networking with students and professionals. However, most hackathons are accepting many more applicants due to it being virtual/remote this year.

What Should I Do At Hacakathons?

Take advantage of the resources available at hackathons. You’re attending a mini CS conference and should be, besides coding, networking with professionals, learning about the different companies, attending workshops, asking technical/non-technical questions to mentors, and getting as much free shit as you can get. Besides T-Shirts, companies give out vouchers to their services, applications to their internship and full-time positions, pillows, notebooks, water bottles, sweaters, and even backpacks.
If you’re looking to get an award, judges at hackathons care a lot about the pitch and the idea rather than the actual execution of the idea. Having an idea beforehand is also helpful, so you can spend your time focusing on the MVP.

Friends and Networking

chaitu65c: I think it’s definitely useful if you have two different friend groups: One dedicated to career and Non-Career Group.
Career Group - When making a friend group dedicated to career, try to be the dumbest person in the group, you’re definitely going to learn a lot from them as you soak up knowledge! Best ways of meeting friends who are career-driven can be through major specific orientation (actually how I met rishiss), courses, major related clubs, etc.
Non-Career Group - While having a group that motivates you for your career is important, it’s also important to have another friend group that can help you relax and to enjoy your time! A really good way to find these friend groups can be anywhere from your hall to General Education courses, social clubs like Circle K, fraternities/ sororities(if that’s your cup of tea) and others!
This is what has worked for us; no need to follow this exact format.

Resume

rishiss: Here are the few take-aways on writing a resume that gets through the ATS.

Searching for Internships

Searching for internships in CS is really different and harder from searching for internships in other professions. CS internship interview processes are often longer and much more technical on what you have learned as a CS major. We've prepped 2-3 months beforehand on CS concepts, whiteboarding, etc.

Timeline

This timeline primarily focuses on large, non-government/defense companies or competitive startups. This also assume you are applying for a summer internship.
August - September: Applications are opened to the public. Make sure to look out for positions and apply early, as most companies admit students on a rolling basis. A site that we used often is Apply.fyi. After applying, you may receive an automated (< 48 hours) invitation to complete an Online Assessment, consisting of multiple choice and/or coding questions about Data Structures, Algorithms, and Run Time Complexity. You will have usually 1-2 weeks to complete the assessment. Please that you may be rejected if you are not able to pass 90% of the questions on the assessment: Please also note that you may be instantly rejected due to things out of your control like years of experience, cancellation of internship, internal corporate issues, and more. Don't take rejections too seriously; just keep applying!
October - November: After passing the resume screen and the OA, you will be contacted by the company's recruiter for a phone screen. During the screen, you will probably be asked a few confirmation questions about your resume, sponsorship, years of experience with X, etc. and minor behavioral questions like what made you apply for this position, what are you pursuing outside of class, etc. You may also receive questions about your CS fundamentals e.g. what is a hashtable, whats the difference between a process and a thread, what is the runtime complexity of sorting a string, etc. As long as you're cool and confident (and not cringe/edgy), this part should be a breeze.
November - Mid January: If you made it through the two Thanos snaps, you will be invited to an onsite “Power-Day,” where interviewees attend 2-4 whiteboard interviews while being grilled on their technical skills and projects. Some companies make applicants go through a panel interview, where a team of 2-5 Software Engineers grill you on technical questions and your resume. You are often pampered with free travel, food, stipends, etc.
December - February: If you were deemed a good fit by the hiring committee, you will be extended an offer to intern at the company during the upcoming summer for 10-12 weeks. Remember, nothing is final until you receive an offer letter in your inbox. Some companies may also place you on a wait-list and offer you a spot if someone were to reject their offer letter.
For government orgs, defense companies, and smaller organizations, the recruiting season starts in February/March and usually ends in April and May. After applying online and passing the resume screen, you will usually be immediately pushed to an on-site interview. Most likely, you will be interviewing with your future boss/co-worker.
Please note that internships are not only offered in the summer, they are provided in the Fall, Winter, and Spring (rare) as well. The competition for these internships is usually lower, and the process usually starts 3-4 months beforehand.

How to get the Interview

Besides following resume tips, make sure to apply to as many places as you can. To get our first internships, we recall applying to approximately 250-300 places before we secured our internship plans for that summer. Also, if you do get ghosted, don’t take it personally, usually, university recruiters often spend so much time reviewing a lot of applications.
Other precautions to take to get noticed are to try attending career fairs if you can, you might be able to get an interview(worst case, free swag!). Other than that, try reaching out to upperclassmen or friends you know that interned and ask for referrals. It’s one of the best ways to get noticed!

What to expect

As part of the interview process, there’s 4 types of interviews that you should make sure you know.
Behavioral Interview: These interviews ask you questions about culture fit such as “Why are you a good candidate” and “Tell me about a time when you ...”
Coding/Technical Interview: These interviews ask you questions similar to what you see on Leetcode and Hackerrank. These interviews are designed to test your Data Structures and Algorithms knowledge.
System Design: System Design involves the interviewer testing your building to design a service/software and test your knowledge of understanding what things to use for the task and how you will integrate them together. You’re definitely not expected to know this and it’s not likely you’re gonna get asked this. Places that could ask you this are Unicorns, Trading Companies and Hedge Funds, and Big Established Companies.
Concurrency/Low Level Interviews: If the company’s biggest product involves low level principles such as networking principles and kernel stuff, there’s a possibility you can get asked this. Places that come to mind are hardware companies and trading firms.
Some companies may adopt only one of these interviews and some may adopt all.

How to Ace the Interview

It’s highly recommended that you look up the interview experiences that other students have faced so that you can potentially filter out companies with red flags and know what questions to expect. Common sources to search up on this would be Reddit (csMajors and cscareerquestions), Jumpstart (Relatively new portal for students), Glassdoor and maybe Blind (Aside from the toxic TC or GTFO culture, they do give good advice on interviews). With that said, here’s some advice we have when you approach each kind of interview we’ve seen.

Advice on Behavioral Interviews

Use the STAR method when describing your experiences. Being quantifiable with the impact of your actions will impress the interviewer.

Advice on Technical Interviews

Begin by reviewing your notes from the Data Structures and Algorithms class. Do not proceed further until you know how to implement these DS and As from scratch with the language of your choice(If you do know python, it’s recommended as there’s a lot of builtin features!). After doing so, we highly recommend a book like CTCI and EPI to gain a review on programming language details and your DS and As. Then, visit sites like LeetCode to practice real questions from major companies. A Facebook Engineer completed 600 LC problems and compiled the most important ones into a list here. During the interview, make sure to talk out loud about possible approaches and tradeoffs before whiteboarding. It is perfectly acceptable (often recommended) to ask the interviewer to ask questions about the problem and get clarification. Once you have an idea in mind and have talked about it with your interviewer, begin whiteboarding. While you talk about the final idea you want to use, write out pseudo code and comments about all the steps you need to implement in order to finish coding your solution. After that, start coding. Make sure to have proper function headers, syntax, spacing, classes/structs, imports, etc. After coding your solution, give a brief explanation and attempt to make it run with less space and in less time (if your solution is not as efficient as you think it can be).

Advice on System Design

These are somewhat hard to approach if you don’t have experience ever doing it. If you do have experience designing and building services in your spare time and as part of your work experience, definitely rely on your experience. An important thing is to definitely ask clarifying questions. There might be hidden requirements you didn’t think about that could drastically change the way you approach the solution.

Advice on Concurrency/Low level

Understand basic principles such as Processes vs Threads (A lot of people don’t know the difference!)TCP vs UDP and how to make an application thread safe. Other than that, it’s recommended that you familiarize yourself with basic OS concepts such as Deadlocks, locks that you can utilize to make an application thread safe, etc.

Searching for Full Time Jobs:

The big bucks.
The process for finding a Full-Time Job is usually very similar to finding an Internship. There’s three main differences are:
  1. Harder Questions. Ex: Google usually asks Leetcode Mediums to Hards + the special Leetcode Hard question that Google asks it’s applicants (they create a new one every year).
  2. More Rounds of Interviewing: For example, Microsoft makes interns do 2 rounds while New Grads do 4 rounds during the onsite part of the process.
  3. Compensation: Interns usually get an hourly rate and, possibly, a housing stipend. New grads, however, are given a yearly salary and, possibly, a sign-on bonus, stocks, and benefits e.g. health insurance, vacation days, etc.
The process for finding a Full-time Job won’t really change as much as finding an internship, but keep in mind that the bar is higher. This is probably the biggest reason why you should look into interning early; by getting an offer at the place you like, you don’t need to go through the daunting process of finding a full-time role.
Get as many offers as you can this time around, so you can negotiate and select the position, company, compensation, and location that works best for you.

Negotiation

Negotiation is a really powerful tool that you can use in the interview process, even as an intern. There’s a lot of guides to negotiation and we recommend Nick Singh’s guide (Look at his LinkedIn and newsletters) for more.

Final Thoughts

University is a probably the most important time of your life and a foundational block of your CS Career. Like any foundation, it must be sturdy and takes a tremendous amount and energy of time to develop. Take advantage of all the resources (like this one) you can get your hands on. Definitely learn from the mistakes people have made and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish’ - Steve Jobs
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2020.09.17 06:53 rishiss A /r/cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

A /cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

With our final school year beginning, we were reflecting on how lost and confused we were when we first started university. We made a lot of mistakes (still am) along the way, but we’re in a much better place after learning from them and constantly putting ourselves out there. In hopes of shining some light and helping others, we decided to make a comprehensive guide for university students – based on our knowledge/experiences - on how to start your successful CS Career (or gain the wisdom to avoid CS altogether, more on this later).
rishiss Background: I am a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Software Engineering. I am an incoming Software Engineer at a F100 company (received return offer after interning this summer). Before that, I interned at an R & D center for space, a small cloud company, and a small IT company. I have a 3.65 GPA, won a few awards at startup competitions/hackathons, and remain pretty active in my schools CS organizations.
chaitu65c Background: I’m a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Computer Science. I’m currently a SWE Intern at a Unicorn and just wrapped up my 2nd internship at a Live Streaming Company(you can most likely tell who they are if you browse my history LOL). Before this, I interned at my school’s IT department, did research under a professor, and worked on a few small startups that other UCI students were building. I have a 3.3 GPA, won some awards along rishiss and was pretty active in my school’s CS clubs.
Disclaimer: “But rishiss/ and chaitu65c, you don’t work at a Big N, go to a target CS school, why should I take your advice?” You’re absolutely right; we are, by no means, ‘up there’ like some other folks on this sub. And, you don’t have to take our advice! Simply close this tab and do whatever else you want 😊. Our intent is to guide and prepare uni students for a CS career they enjoy, not work at Big N or get the highest TC. Life is much more than a dick-measuring contest, and the earlier you learn that the better.
We have also created a guide with our own personal advice/stories

Please, take this advice with a grain of salt. we’re not Tony Robinson or Tim Apple, we’re just two random reddit users.

Table of Contents:

This guide is divided into the following sections:

Is CS Right For Me?

The way we see it, there’s 3 types of people pursuing CS.
  1. Those who know CS isn’t for them – They’re in it for the money, to appease their parents, for a minorequirement, some external factor. They hated programming while taking the introductory CS course and just try to get done with their class/degree ASAP.
Advice: The majority of people who fall under this usually burn out quickly, as they aren’t motivated enough to learn the material and to apply themselves. This usually leads to them cheating and getting kicked out of their major, minor, or university altogether. Even if you manage to earn a degree, we've seen a large number of these folks endure a 'pre-mature' mid-life crisis or simply get fired from their jobs. Before you even start this major, you should definitely understand that this isn’t going to be easy, and you do have to put in a lot of effort to succeed. If this isn’t your cup of tea, definitely look into switching into another major you like.
Some folks are really passionate about technology, but don't want to pursue an entire Computer Science major or see themselves as Software Engineers. That's completely ok! Try looking into related majors or minors. We know many students who switched from CS to majors like Informatics, Business Information Management, and Economics and are thriving in tech-related roles like Data Analytics, Product Management, UI/UX Design, and Technical Recruiting. CS is not (and should not be) for everyone, and there is no shame in having the wisdom quit and move on.
  1. Those who don’t know if CS is for them – Where most of the CS community is IMO. These folks (like me, rishiss) are riddled with something called Imposter Syndrome: “the constant feeling of not being good enough or knowing enough to do your job well.”
Advice: For students, really take the time to learn and be open to anything you go through. Try sticking it out until you've taken a Data Structures course, one of the harder, more important courses out there. If you're not understanding the material or just aren't having fun with it, it’s definitely ok to switch majors/careers. Otherwise, CS just might be the career for you! Give it your best shot!
Admittedly, it's hard to provide stronger insight to overcoming Imposter Syndrome, as I am afflicted by it as well. For me, my IS derives from constantly comparing myself to others and confusing inexperience with incompetency. As such, I continue to work and focus on myself and take baby steps towards smaller goals I set out for myself. Knowing that I've put the effort to improve myself by just 1% everyday has made me a lot more confident.
  1. Those who know for a fact CS is for them – The diamonds in the rough. Learning and practicing CS material gives them a euphoric high.
Advice: Broaden your scope and learn new areas of CS! Who knows, you might find another new field that you really want to work in. Other than that, definitely make new friends regardless of whether they’re a CS major or not. Even try pursuing other hobbies like weightlifting, reading, dancing, or even public speaking. Don't limit yourself!

Freshman Year

We recommend not taking more than 3-4 classes in your first quartesemester, as you shouold keep an ample amount of time to go to professional/social events, make new friends and hang out with them, and pursue your interests.
We've seen a lot of freshmen (and upperclassmen) CS folks get cooped up in their dorm rooms playing video games and watching TV. We understand that these two are a passion for many, but please be cautious to not get consumed by them.
You have the privilege of pursuing higher education, making valuable connections/memories, and setting up your CS career in the trajectory you want. This year is the best year to take advantage of all that university has to offer; make the most of it.
One of the best ways to get involved in your school’s/region’s CS community is by joining clubs like ACM and WICS and participating in hackathons (see ‘Hackathon’ section below). Try pursuing internships and positions in these organizations and events as well!
One, major issue we see with freshmen (even upperclassmen) is their ignorance on all the avenues available in the CS Industry. So we’ve tried to narrow it down (not exhaustive).
  1. Cyber Security Engineer
  2. Front-End Web Developer
  3. Backend Web Developer
  4. UI/UX Designer
  5. DevOps/Cloud/Site-Reliability Engineers
  6. Mobile Engineer
  7. QA Engineer
  8. Product Manager
  9. Data Scientist (Machine Learning/AI)
  10. Embedded Software Engineer
  11. Systems Administrator
  12. Database Administrator (The Wizards)
  13. Networking Engineer
  14. Hardware Engineer
  15. OS Developer
  16. Video Game Developer
  17. Solutions Architect/Sales EngineeTechnical Account Manager
As a freshman, definitely take the time and see if you can picture yourself doing any of the listed fields. You should open yourself to all facets of CS and not just the “hot field” like Data Science and Machine Learning. Choosing a field because it’s “exciting” will usually lead to bad results as usually, other people are thinking just like you and will lead to over-saturation.
Our recommendation is to select the top 5 fields that have piqued your interest and experiment with the field. For example, if you are interested in Mobile App Development, try learning how to build an Android app from the ground up. A simple weather app or alarm clock is completely suitable for a first project/prototype. This lets you understand what skills you would need for this field and can serve as a forecast as to what your career would look like.
You should definitely look for an internship. Ignore the people that tell you to wait until you’re a junior, as it’s going to be very hard to get an internship if you don’t have any experience. Common places that most students don’t realize are available are usually IT departments at your school and even research with professors. Researching is highly recommended as you can definitely learn more about a field you can be interested in and if you’re interested in graduate school, that’s going to be a letter of recommendation that you can ask for.
If you’re considered a minority in Computer Science, look into first and second year internship programs as they’re meant to help you succeed. Here’s some programs that come to mind:
Google STEP
Microsoft Explore
Amazon Future Engineer
Uber STARInternhip
Facebook University
Another way to get internships is to research into smaller companies in your area. If the company is very small (<100 employees), consider reaching out to the CEO on LinkedIn. They might be able to help you! Also, take advantage of university recruiting websites like Handshake to see companies that directly hire from your school. More info on how to get an internship in the ‘Searching for an Internship’ section.

Sophomore Year

Now that you have basic programming knowledge, create your own website or GitHub account and start contributing to them with small personal projects. Nobody expects you to make a full-stack MERN project hosted and scaled on AWS at this stage. Focus instead on clean code, learning a framework or two on a language you like, and creating a small, robust feature. Grow from there!
If you weren’t able to find an internship/research opportunity as a freshman, community involvement, projects, and hackathons become especially important, as they are a great way to make you stand out on your resume and to recruiters when you reapply. As you brush up on your skills, apply again, and try your luck out.

Data Structures and Algorithms

In addition, you are most likely to take a Data Structures and Algorithms course this year. Make sure you are focusing on this class and writing good notes; you will need this knowledge when interviewing for internships and full-time jobs in the near future. Here is a link to our DS and A course (in C++) for reference

Junior Year

As a junior, companies are more willing to hire you for an internship, as they are likely to convert you into a full-time employee after graduating. This transition process is much easier than interviewing, and they'll usually offer you a higher compensation package if they want to convert you to a full-time employee. As you now should have knowledge of Data Structures and Algorithms, we highly recommend looking into coding interview prep sites like LeetCode and HackerRank or purchasing a prep book like CTCI or EPI (advanced).
Continue to attend hackathons, remain active in clubs/organizations, and grow your portfolio.
Classes will be much harder; expect the time for completing projects to double and the content covered to be much more difficult. We recommend taking no more than 2-3 upper-division CS courses and balancing your load with 1-2 GE classes. You should not be taking more than 16 units (assuming 4 units per course).
Start to get an idea of what field in CS you would like to pursue. Research what it takes to be successful in that field. You can do so by looking up job postings with that title on LinkedIn and looking at the requested skill set or take a look at Roadmap.sh. If you want to learn more about a related skill set and your school doesn't offer a course, consider picking up a class on udemy.com.

Senior Year

Focus heavily on your senior capstone, project classes, etc. as they're the last thing you can put on your resume before applying for full time. By now, you should have at least 3 polished, working projects on your GitHub that you can easily talk about with your recruiter. Preferably, they're aligned with the CS field you wish to enter.
If you were able to get a return offer from an internship, congrats! However, don’t immediately sign the offer. Once you have an offer, you should still try to interview at companies that you’re interested in by the deadline of the time to accept the offer. A good way of doing this is to reach out to a University recruiter for that company and explain the deadline you have. Usually, they’re really helpful and can potentially help skip interviews that you were supposed to do!
In addition, if your friends were able to intern at places you’re interested in, definitely ask for a referral or to send your resume to their recruiter. This usually reduces the risk of being ghosted by that company and increases your chances of getting hired!
Once you finally sign, definitely take the time to relax and enjoy. Just make sure you pass your classes and stay out of trouble

Classes:

What Classes should I take?

Should Already be Required:

Must Take:

Good to Have

How do I succeed in these classes?

rishiss: You’re more than likely coughing up hundreds, if not thousands, to attend university. It makes no sense to not take full advantage of the course and course staff.
The way I take notes: I learn from examples; I want to enter my code into the IDE to see what happens. I do a three way split; Google Docs on the left, IDE on top right and terminal (to compile, see output, make new file, etc) on bottom left. I note down the date and topic of the lecture and write questions I have in the comments on Docs. I make sure to highlight important information and possible test questions. I even share the link with friends!

In the quarters where I followed the steps above, I never got a grade lower than an A-.

Dealing with Bad Professors

During your time in college, you’re likely going to have at least one bad professor that might make it worse if you have to go to class. If that’s the case, it’s definitely fine to not go to class (as long as it’s not mandatory). However, if you do decide not to go, you must make sure you learn the material, so you won’t be behind on the coursework and studying for tests. In addition, you should be doing something productive on the side. If you don’t go to class and spend the time watching Netflix or playing video games, you’re losing time that you can spend on something that might be fun and can help you in the long run.

You can take Graduate Courses!?

chaitu65c: A highly underutilized set of courses you can take would be graduate courses. Graduate courses are usually very specialized in certain fields. If you were able to take all the undergraduate courses you wanted and still have spare classes to fill out, I'd recommend researching into taking Graduate courses! They’re a good way to build out your specialization and learn new, cool stuff! In addition, if you’re looking for classes to reach the required number of CS courses needed, your CS department might allow you to make the course count towards your degree!

Projects

They're super important.

How do I succeed in class projects?

Personal Projects and your CS Career

rishiss: Projects are your saving grace, especially if you are lacking work experience. They show technical aptitude, willingness to take initiative, and leadership. I’ve seen people with only projects on their resume get positions at the Big N. Projects are good ways to expand your knowledge of CS as the possibilities are endless! It is best to have a variety of projects dealing with a variety of technologies. As such, you can open yourself up to more positions and have more talking points during the interview.
I tend to edit the ‘Project’ Section of my resume with relevant projects and technologies. For instance, if I made a full stack web application and applied to a DevOps organization, I would highlight my AWS, CI/CD, and Terraform experiences more than my React/Node js work.
It is recommend the project is about something that motivates you and are passionate about e.g. video games, movies, books, sports, etc., as it is very easy to give up half way due to stress or lack of motivation/interest.
Like anything else in Computer Science, projects require you to break it down into smaller pieces. Start with the end in mind and draw out the intended architecture/functionalities. Start with what you know and research on the parts you don't know after that. You will be using these skills often in industry for any project/feature planning.
Spending 15-30 minutes a day is all you need to make a successful personal project. Don't make excuses and get coding!

Open Source Contributions

If you’ve ever noticed popular github repositories such as torvalds/linux, these are repositories where people from all over the world can report issues with it and someone can fix it. If you are able to make a contribution to a huge open source repository, it looks really good on your resume.

Hackathons

What are Hackathons?

Hackathons are large scale coding events, where students from around the area come together and collaborate - usually in teams of 4 (but you can go solo or with a partner!) - to build some software. Companies like Amazon, Northrop Grumman, Google, and Twilio sponsor awards related to best use of their technology. After 24 - 48 hours of intensive coding, participants submit their projects, whether it be an Android video game, Chrome Extension, productivity web app, etc. Submissions are shared with the companies and other hackathon organizers, where they select the best projects and award teams with swag like keyboards, gift cards, and even summer internships at their company.
Participating in hackathons are one of the best ways to hone your coding skills, network with companies and other students, and get free comfy T-shirts. It is also one of the best ways to gain industry knowledge, as representatives from these companies and hackathon organizers create numerous workshops and answer any questions you may have. Winning awards at these hackathons are also great resume boosters and talking points during interviews.
The biggest hackathon organizer is Major League Hacking. Visit their website, and you can see all the hackathons (remote or local) they are partnered with. Make to be on the lookout for application release dates from the hackathons and apply early.
With Covid, you may miss out on the free goodies and the in-person networking with students and professionals. However, most hackathons are accepting many more applicants due to it being virtual/remote this year.

What Should I Do At Hacakathons?

Take advantage of the resources available at hackathons. You’re attending a mini CS conference and should be, besides coding, networking with professionals, learning about the different companies, attending workshops, asking technical/non-technical questions to mentors, and getting as much free shit as you can get. Besides T-Shirts, companies give out vouchers to their services, applications to their internship and full-time positions, pillows, notebooks, water bottles, sweaters, and even backpacks.
If you’re looking to get an award, judges at hackathons care a lot about the pitch and the idea rather than the actual execution of the idea. Having an idea beforehand is also helpful, so you can spend your time focusing on the MVP.

Friends and Networking

chaitu65c: I think it’s definitely useful if you have two different friend groups: One dedicated to career and Non-Career Group.
Career Group - When making a friend group dedicated to career, try to be the dumbest person in the group, you’re definitely going to learn a lot from them as you soak up knowledge! Best ways of meeting friends who are career-driven can be through major specific orientation (actually how I met rishiss), courses, major related clubs, etc.
Non-Career Group - While having a group that motivates you for your career is important, it’s also important to have another friend group that can help you relax and to enjoy your time! A really good way to find these friend groups can be anywhere from your hall to General Education courses, social clubs like Circle K, fraternities/ sororities(if that’s your cup of tea) and others!
This is what has worked for us; no need to follow this exact format.

Resume

rishiss: Here are the few take-aways on writing a resume that gets through the ATS.

Searching for Internships

Searching for internships in CS is really different and harder from searching for internships in other professions. CS internship interview processes are often longer and much more technical on what you have learned as a CS major. We've prepped 2-3 months beforehand on CS concepts, whiteboarding, etc.

Timeline

This timeline primarily focuses on large, non-government/defense companies or competitive startups. This also assume you are applying for a summer internship.
August - September: Applications are opened to the public. Make sure to look out for positions and apply early, as most companies admit students on a rolling basis. A site that we used often is Apply.fyi. After applying, you may receive an automated (< 48 hours) invitation to complete an Online Assessment, consisting of multiple choice and/or coding questions about Data Structures, Algorithms, and Run Time Complexity. You will have usually 1-2 weeks to complete the assessment. Please that you may be rejected if you are not able to pass 90% of the questions on the assessment: Please also note that you may be instantly rejected due to things out of your control like years of experience, cancellation of internship, internal corporate issues, and more. Don't take rejections too seriously; just keep applying!
October - November: After passing the resume screen and the OA, you will be contacted by the company's recruiter for a phone screen. During the screen, you will probably be asked a few confirmation questions about your resume, sponsorship, years of experience with X, etc. and minor behavioral questions like what made you apply for this position, what are you pursuing outside of class, etc. You may also receive questions about your CS fundamentals e.g. what is a hashtable, whats the difference between a process and a thread, what is the runtime complexity of sorting a string, etc. As long as you're cool and confident (and not cringe/edgy), this part should be a breeze.
November - Mid January: If you made it through the two Thanos snaps, you will be invited to an onsite “Power-Day,” where interviewees attend 2-4 whiteboard interviews while being grilled on their technical skills and projects. Some companies make applicants go through a panel interview, where a team of 2-5 Software Engineers grill you on technical questions and your resume. You are often pampered with free travel, food, stipends, etc.
December - February: If you were deemed a good fit by the hiring committee, you will be extended an offer to intern at the company during the upcoming summer for 10-12 weeks. Remember, nothing is final until you receive an offer letter in your inbox. Some companies may also place you on a wait-list and offer you a spot if someone were to reject their offer letter.
For government orgs, defense companies, and smaller organizations, the recruiting season starts in February/March and usually ends in April and May. After applying online and passing the resume screen, you will usually be immediately pushed to an on-site interview. Most likely, you will be interviewing with your future boss/co-worker.
Please note that internships are not only offered in the summer, they are provided in the Fall, Winter, and Spring (rare) as well. The competition for these internships is usually lower, and the process usually starts 3-4 months beforehand.

How to get the Interview

Besides following resume tips, make sure to apply to as many places as you can. To get our first internships, we recall applying to approximately 250-300 places before we secured our internship plans for that summer. Also, if you do get ghosted, don’t take it personally, usually, university recruiters often spend so much time reviewing a lot of applications.
Other precautions to take to get noticed are to try attending career fairs if you can, you might be able to get an interview(worst case, free swag!). Other than that, try reaching out to upperclassmen or friends you know that interned and ask for referrals. It’s one of the best ways to get noticed!

What to expect

As part of the interview process, there’s 4 types of interviews that you should make sure you know.
Behavioral Interview: These interviews ask you questions about culture fit such as “Why are you a good candidate” and “Tell me about a time when you ...”
Coding/Technical Interview: These interviews ask you questions similar to what you see on Leetcode and Hackerrank. These interviews are designed to test your Data Structures and Algorithms knowledge.
System Design: System Design involves the interviewer testing your building to design a service/software and test your knowledge of understanding what things to use for the task and how you will integrate them together. You’re definitely not expected to know this and it’s not likely you’re gonna get asked this. Places that could ask you this are Unicorns, Trading Companies and Hedge Funds, and Big Established Companies.
Concurrency/Low Level Interviews: If the company’s biggest product involves low level principles such as networking principles and kernel stuff, there’s a possibility you can get asked this. Places that come to mind are hardware companies and trading firms.
Some companies may adopt only one of these interviews and some may adopt all.

How to Ace the Interview

It’s highly recommended that you look up the interview experiences that other students have faced so that you can potentially filter out companies with red flags and know what questions to expect. Common sources to search up on this would be Reddit (csMajors and cscareerquestions), Jumpstart (Relatively new portal for students), Glassdoor and maybe Blind (Aside from the toxic TC or GTFO culture, they do give good advice on interviews). With that said, here’s some advice we have when you approach each kind of interview we’ve seen.

Advice on Behavioral Interviews

Use the STAR method when describing your experiences. Being quantifiable with the impact of your actions will impress the interviewer.

Advice on Technical Interviews

Begin by reviewing your notes from the Data Structures and Algorithms class. Do not proceed further until you know how to implement these DS and As from scratch with the language of your choice(If you do know python, it’s recommended as there’s a lot of builtin features!). After doing so, we highly recommend a book like CTCI and EPI to gain a review on programming language details and your DS and As. Then, visit sites like LeetCode to practice real questions from major companies. A Facebook Engineer completed 600 LC problems and compiled the most important ones into a list here. During the interview, make sure to talk out loud about possible approaches and tradeoffs before whiteboarding. It is perfectly acceptable (often recommended) to ask the interviewer to ask questions about the problem and get clarification. Once you have an idea in mind and have talked about it with your interviewer, begin whiteboarding. While you talk about the final idea you want to use, write out pseudo code and comments about all the steps you need to implement in order to finish coding your solution. After that, start coding. Make sure to have proper function headers, syntax, spacing, classes/structs, imports, etc. After coding your solution, give a brief explanation and attempt to make it run with less space and in less time (if your solution is not as efficient as you think it can be).

Advice on System Design

These are somewhat hard to approach if you don’t have experience ever doing it. If you do have experience designing and building services in your spare time and as part of your work experience, definitely rely on your experience. An important thing is to definitely ask clarifying questions. There might be hidden requirements you didn’t think about that could drastically change the way you approach the solution.

Advice on Concurrency/Low level

Understand basic principles such as Processes vs Threads (A lot of people don’t know the difference!)TCP vs UDP and how to make an application thread safe. Other than that, it’s recommended that you familiarize yourself with basic OS concepts such as Deadlocks, locks that you can utilize to make an application thread safe, etc.

Searching for Full Time Jobs:

The big bucks.
The process for finding a Full-Time Job is usually very similar to finding an Internship. There’s three main differences are:
  1. Harder Questions. Ex: Google usually asks Leetcode Mediums to Hards + the special Leetcode Hard question that Google asks it’s applicants (they create a new one every year).
  2. More Rounds of Interviewing: For example, Microsoft makes interns do 2 rounds while New Grads do 4 rounds during the onsite part of the process.
  3. Compensation: Interns usually get an hourly rate and, possibly, a housing stipend. New grads, however, are given a yearly salary and, possibly, a sign-on bonus, stocks, and benefits e.g. health insurance, vacation days, etc.
The process for finding a Full-time Job won’t really change as much as finding an internship, but keep in mind that the bar is higher. This is probably the biggest reason why you should look into interning early; by getting an offer at the place you like, you don’t need to go through the daunting process of finding a full-time role.
Get as many offers as you can this time around, so you can negotiate and select the position, company, compensation, and location that works best for you.

Negotiation

Negotiation is a really powerful tool that you can use in the interview process, even as an intern. There’s a lot of guides to negotiation and we recommend Nick Singh’s guide (Look at his LinkedIn and newsletters) for more.

Final Thoughts

University is a probably the most important time of your life and a foundational block of your CS Career. Like any foundation, it must be sturdy and takes a tremendous amount and energy of time to develop. Take advantage of all the resources (like this one) you can get your hands on. Definitely learn from the mistakes people have made and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish’ - Steve Jobs
submitted by rishiss to cscareerquestions [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 06:34 depressed_beach I think my friend is being catfished and I'm worried she's in danger

My friend started dating a boy online about a month ago. They met on a gaming app and every time she is supposed to see him he has some wild reason, like being in an accident, being beaten up to the point of being in the hospital, and one time even claimed that he was too upset over getting a dinner reservation canceled to meet her mom (as she is skeptical as well) Yesterday he claimed that his friend's baby passed away and I feel bad saying this, but I'm not sure if she ever had a baby as she is a lesbian and was in a lesbian relationship around any time that she could have conceived. I have seen her IRL once and she brought her niece, so I'm wondering why she would have taken her niece but not her newborn baby? She also didn't look to have given birth recently but I know that you can't always tell. He claims to be going to doctor's appointments in the middle of the night. He told her he moved to our small town but hasn't seen him in weeks even though they're about a 2-minute walk apart. We went to the apartments where he claimed to live because I was supposed to be dropping her off but he ghosted her once we got there, and the BMW he claimed to have was parked nowhere in the area. She claims to have met him but I'm not sure if she actually has... I'm honestly worried for her safety. The only social media I can find is his Instagram that he only started posting on around the time that they met, and only gets about 2 likes per photo. He's been posting pictures of her every day saying he wants to marry her even though I don't think they've even met IRL. They only communicate via text as he doesn't have a Snapchat. I looked up his number and it came up as being in a different area and have been trying to reverse image search his Instagram photos but can't seem to find a free site that works. I'm worried that they might be trying to scam her for money in some way or worse. I could just be paranoid but nothing seems to add up and she doesn't see it. There are a few other things to add if anyone reads this and wants more info. Any help/comments are much appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by depressed_beach to catfish [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 10:57 sugardatingmeet Meeting Bisexuals - A Must Read If You Have a Meeting

Meeting Bisexuals - A Must Read If You Have a Meeting
A 'Meet bisexual guide' is a must-read if you have a meeting. What is bisexuality? It is an orientation that involves romantic or physical desirability for both the sexes. So it does not matter about sexual preferences. You need to know what your preferences are. So, we can understand that there are bisexual women and bisexual men as well. You will come to know what you should do when you meet any.

https://preview.redd.it/9m31h1vg0an51.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45076dc616f237d39f8e78f8dc31d07172ea7b71
Sometimes, it is very difficult to identify people about their sexual preferences. After spending a lot of time, one day you may come to know that your partner's sexual preference is different. So these are some of the following ways with the help of which you may come to know how to identify them at the first point. There are numerous online dating sites. You may not understand while chatting online.
You can identify when you meet. People will not ever come clean about their sexual preferences. If you are curious enough to meet some of the bisexual people, then you can do the following. At first, you can mention in your online profile that you are also a bisexual in nature. You will see thousands of people will start saying that even they are bisexual men or bisexual women.
There is nothing to hide about it. According to many surveys, there are more bisexual women than bisexual men. You can meet singles on various dating sites. If you are a student you can find them at your school or college's GSA or Gay/ Straight Alliance. You can meet teen lesbians or bisexual teens. You can also meet them through common friends.
You can seek for lesbian and teen centers. You will be amazed to see the results. If you are not bisexual then do not start giggling or laugh when you meet one. In your daily life, you may come across these people. Keep friendship with them but do not get intimate, if you abhor the orientation. Do not make fun out of it. This is one of the biggest reasons why people hide about it!
There are even many popular celebrities who are bisexual women. These are also found among the animal kingdom as well. These are mostly seen among chimpanzees, dolphins, and orca and sometimes among penguins. This orientation or behavior does not develop in a day. In fact, it is believed that sexual preference is more biological than psychological.
Our literature contains thick information on bisexual behaviors. So, there is nothing to hide about. It is a part of our world. You can get more information online. So, these are the things which you should remember when you meet bisexual men, women, and couples.
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2020.09.15 04:23 will205 Honest question re: where your/my sexuality lies

Hi Everyone,
So for a very long time, I've been struggling between whether I am actually a lesbian or not, or if I even like women in a romantic/sexual sense. I grew up having crushes on men, but was raised around a lot of women and definitely saw the power of female friendships. Fast forward to now, and I'm 33 and nowhere near a relationship on any spectrum. I remember being turned on by a female sex scene involving a strap-on in college and shuddering over the fact that I gasp might not be straight. I let those feelings go until I watched Kissing Jessica Stein in my mid twenties...and have never been able to let go of the idea of having my "Kissing Jessica Stein" relationship. In the meantime, I've only had hetero sex once, and have never been able to forge a relationship with a guy, and frankly since seeing that movie (back in...2013?) i've always felt a little bit confused. I've gone to counseling, I've tried making myself available to women online via apps and dating sites, but have only gone on a handful of dates that felt more awkward than anything and have only kissed one girl. It felt like an out-of-body experience in that I felt like I was looking in on myself and saying "What are you doing?!" I know I'm attracted to guys, but it seems like I'm more attracted to the IDEA of a guy than the actual reality of a relationship. On the other hand it feels so...weird to me to be in a relationship with a girl, even though I ended up destroying one of my closest friendships because I shut off contact with the girl because I felt feelings towards her and was afraid she would have rejected me if I tried to say anything. And I know I am...interested in girls, but I also know I grew up around a hardwired heterosexual family and the one time I tried to come out to my mom she basically told me I wasn't gay, and I was just like 'oh ok' and just went with it....at the age of 30. And yet, there's a fantasy part of me that hopes that every new girl I meet is secretly a lesbian and we end up messing around and then I can 'get this out of my system.' I've been trying to date guys online as of late, but last week there was a small chain of events that has made me feel like the universe is pushing me toward women:
Anyway, I guess I'm writing here because I so desperately want to give love and be loved and have a family with a partner, be that guy or girl, and it doesn't seem like either is a clear path because I just...don't know. And there's that lingering part of me that thinks I'm just annoyed because I can't get with a guy so I'm just messing around with the idea of women in the meantime and to hunker down and be single like the other hetero women I know. But is that me just denying how I feel? The mind reels...I just want someone to say 'you are gay, date women,' or 'you are straight, date me' or 'your partner will be x.' Am I alone in this spiral? Has ANYONE felt this way before? If so what did you do/how did you handle it?
TL/DR: 33/f can't figure out for the life of her if she's gay or straight or even in the middle.
submitted by will205 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 23:46 pinkgrapefruit75 Three decades of girl crushes and I'm finally ready to be honest with myself

First of all, you are all gorgeous and brave women. Lurking here has helped me to solidify that me wanting to date women for DECADES is not a silly whim. Not being the only one late to the game is so reassuring.
I'm a single mother in my early 40s, divorced for over 10 years. Like so many other intros I've read, I had a shitty abusive father and married my high school best friend because he was a soft safe spot in the world. I wasn't attracted to him, but I had never experienced physical attraction before so I had no idea I was supposed to feel something. I had been sexually abused as a child, I thought that was the reason sex was so unpleasant. I thought if I kept trying, we could work through it, but instead it got worse over time and finally it occurred to me that in choosing someone who felt "safe", I had put myself into a situation where I was forcing myself to be in emotionally traumatizing sexual experiences. At that point we stopped being intimate. You would think this is where I realized I'm gay. NOPE.
When we were splitting up, I remember saying that I didn't know if I could ever be with a man again, but somehow it didn't even click. I kept dating men and thought that with the right guy the sex stuff would work. And I did have some great sex! But there was always something that just didn't click. I had to try so hard to get in the mood, like I had to turn part of my brain off. And the longer the relationship lasted, the more I had to do this. Whenever I was single, I would play with the idea of dating women, but I thought I was just having an identity crisis. I had one major relationship with a man that lasted several years, and when that ended about 5 years ago, I decided I was done with dating until my daughter is older. This has been the best decision I could make for my own mental health, my career, and my family. And with that space, I've realized a few things: I am attracted to women. And whether or not I have any attraction for men (questionable), I have NO desire to be with one.
But I feel so far from ever being able to come out. I feel RIDICULOUS for not figuring this out sooner. I'm like a 40 year old baby dear trying to stand for the first time - not a pretty sight lol. But it's time. I told my therapist last week. And then uploaded a picture to a dating site I've been lurking on FOREVER.
Next step: talk to some lesbians and bi women who are going through this shit too. Hi everyone :) Thanks for listening.
submitted by pinkgrapefruit75 to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 22:43 nealgopani Does 80/20 happen due to unrealistic standards or due to men's inability to market themselves?

Everyone knows that women pursue the top 20 percent of men on dating sites, while ignoring the rest. There have been many attempts to explain why this is the case. Here are some of the theories:
All in all, I do think hypergamy is true to an extent in that women want the best possible mates, but I don't think the 80/20 split happens due to unrealistic hypergamous standards. Plus, I think men ultimately want the best possible mates too. I'd say being fit and muscular, well dressed, and groomed should be expected of men. It's really not that hard anyways. Anyone can get there after a few years, which is not that much of an investment (and should be highly encouraged in mens' teenage years). Yes, attractive men will still probably willingly fuck ugly or fat women with no other options but that really doesn't mean anything considering most women have very little interest in casual sex anyways (just look at lesbians... basically 0 hookup culture lol). Furthermore, women do have more attraction triggers, and these can't be conveyed well at all on a tinder profile. After all, it is said that most real life communication is nonverbal. Basically most men either choose not to or cannot market their attractive qualities on online dating, causing women to find 80 percent of men unnattractive on these mediums. Thoughts?
submitted by nealgopani to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 13:05 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 13:05 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 13:04 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 13:04 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 12:59 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 12:59 ElectricOne55 I feel lost in my relationship

So between June and September I dated this girl that was in a prior lesbian relationship with another lady for 15 years. The lady I was dating was 40 years old and was a decade and a few years older than me, and she said she preferred younger guys. However, as I got to know her she said she had a brain condition where they had to do surgery to keep spinal fluid from leaking. She looked normal, but at times she would faint and black out and it was really depressing seeing her in a bad condition at times. She would also hear washing machine like noises in her head. She also did not have a job at first and I worried how she would manage her situation. But I also have good memories of us going to the lake, or the pool, or hanging out watching movies together. As we got to know each other, I preferred watching movies because we didn't have to drive anywhere or spend any money and we could just chill. However, she told me that she preferred to eat out at nice restaurants twice a week and that she always used to eat out with her ex that had a lot of money. Later on in the relationship, she told me that I wasn't being "grown up" enough because I didn't want to take her out or go shopping at walmart, or do the yard work for her. But, I did not live with her, I just came over at times to hang out because we formed a relationship. I did the yard work multiple times, and went shopping with her to walmart at times. However, she said because she had to pay for the meals on occasion and that I did not want to eat out a lot she didn't like that. Over time I developed feelings for her because of her condition. However, she told me that she wanted to another kid and possibly get married to me, which I though was strange for being only a couple months in our relationship.
Then recently what caused the separation I guess you could say, she said she was going to go to the club with some girls she worked with. I got worried at first because I thought she was going there and using that as an excuse to cheat on me. Later, I was reassured that she was correct, because she said the other girls there said similar things to there boyfriends and that they just wanted to get out. However, I was still uneasy because I didn't know what could happen because drinking can leave to some bad events. But then she called asking if I could pick her up from the club afterwards, and I said I might can because I may fall asleep, and I also had to study for a test the next day. Then when I said I might be able to she just hung up the phone. Then I tried calling her and stayed up for her and she wouldn't call or text back. She later found some way home and called back at 150, and she was upset that I couldn't pick her up and I told her about my test etc and that I didn't even know where she was so I couldn't even pick her up if I wanted to, but I still managed to stay awake for her. I just let her know that she didn't respond so how was I to know where to go or what to do? Then she hung up the phone again.
The next day she said she needed some space and she said she loved me but that we weren't together. I asked if we could meet again and she scheduled for this weekend, but idk if she'll follow through. We hugged one more time and kissed the last time I saw her. But, she said not to visit for a few days to "give her space" Idk what to do. She recently got a job that paid well, but it was a contract job, and idk how she's going to support a kid or anything if it's just her. So, I tried to tell her to save money since it was a contract job. She tried to tell me I wasn't being "grown up" enough by not picking her up, doing her yard work, and taking her out to eat. However, most of my friends said she sounded like she was being controlling and trying to make me feel bad, and make me do the work for her. At times I would come to her house and the yard would be half a foot tall, none of the trash taken out, and messy and it was really depressing. It made me feel bad for her. But, my friends said it was her just trying to be controlling because she would always say things like I could just find a guy off a dating site to do my yard work for me etc.
Where do I go from here though, everyone in my area seems like there married, and it's mainly older people with very few singles. I see no females on the dating sites. I developed such a strong bond with this lady, but now I don't know what to think. Should I stay with her or does it sound like it's done I feel lost? Was I in the wrong, or her, was there too many red flags I ignored?
submitted by ElectricOne55 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 01:52 desert_rose_341 Polyamory has rarely been kind to me.

I supposed I should begin by saying, I am neither mono nor poly. Any time I say I am mono, I feel constricted. When I say I am poly, I feel uneasy. I have never been in love with more than one person at a time, and by this I mean, I have never been in reciprocated love with more than on person at a time. When I fall in love, I fall with certainty. I am not sexually attracted to many people. Gender doesn't matter, there's just... a thing about a person. I can't really describe what it is because there are numerous things... their gait, finger shape, personal style, attitude, voice, pheromones, interests...there's not a "type" though I do see patterns.
When I say polyamory has not been kind to me, I'll describe the situations I have been in.
My first experience was when I came out as pansexual and kinky about 5 years ago. I had been a lesbian serial monogamist prior to that and didn't really have any issues except, I started to become attracted to cismen again. I realized then that perhaps ethical non-monogamy or polyamory would be something I need to understand.
I met a guy online (kink site). We planned out a scene. He's a poly dom local who I realized later loved poaching the newbies. I was okay with it though because I got what I wanted, he got what he wanted, and it was exhilarating. He and I became friends but didn't scene together anymore. One day, I asked my FB friends if anyone had a TV they wanted to be rid of. He messaged me and told me to come and get it. When I arranged for a pick up, he alluded to the fact that he'd like something in return. I didn't even reply. Gross.
My next experience was with a super sweet queer dom guy. He was single at the time, lives an hour away, and he didn't drive. I fell really hard for him. We had SO much in common and we got along great. A week or so after we realized our relationship was more than a kink dynamics, he tells me that he's going to look for another relationship. Since I was new to poly and kink, I felt really insecure about how it was going down. In hindsight, I should have trusted him, however, in the moment, we weren't really doing a good job communicating about my issues. I broke it off and he's still a friend.

After this, I just kinda became solo poly but never really entered a relationship. I'd have sexual partners who were poly and I dug it. After a couple bad experiences in hookups with a couple poly dudes, I realized that casual sex is not for me.The experience that led me to that conclusion was due to a poly cis man who had several partners. He came over to my house, kissed me, and all I could smell was pussy. I was like, "DUDE. Have you eaten pussy recently? Do you KNOW what a shower is?!" That was the end of that. I am repulsed by people who do not brush their teeth or understand (poly) hygiene. I guess I didn't take enough time to get to know him because that one traumatized me for a bit. (I have some deep knowledge in forensics. The molecular world is something I think about every single moment of every day.)
My needs grew over time and I realized that, trauma aside, I very much prefer an emotional connection before I get into sexy times with someone. I like the slowburn of getting to know a person. I haven't been with anyone other than cisdudes since I came out as pan and most of my friends think that's the problem! haha.
So many of these people were met off of OKCupid, which I generally find to be awesome for connections but I haven't had much good luck over the last 5 years.
Now, this year, a few weeks into the early stages of this pandemic (end of May), I met two super cool poly dudes. One was someone from my past who I have crushed on for a couple years and his marriage had opened up about 7 months prior. The other guy is a super cool and sweet dude who has been poly for a while but I wasn't sure we had much in common. My crush and I were hitting it off and we decided to just sit with ourselves for a while since he was figuring out the marriage/poly thing too, so I told the sweet dude that I'd like to just be friends and he was cool with it because he didn't think he had the time for me anyway. fast forward to now, he doesn't :(
My crush, we'll call Z, we hit it off pretty damn well. It was a love at first sight thing about two years ago and then again as we remet. There was always just this feeling with us. We began dating but things became very clear very quickly that the open marriage was not his choice and so he was reacting to polyamory instead of...choosing it. He begged me to be his partner and I declined until I could really feel comfortable. We spoke about what it means to be a partner. We discussed our future, what poly looked like with his wife, with his daughter from a previous relationship, and with his girlfriend (who he claimed was toxic). We did a lot of emotional and mental work together. I knew it was a lot to undertake at the time but fuck, yo, we're in the middle of a pandemic. How else will I use my psychology degree? I thought we were really getting somewhere with all of it. He really loved my insight. Long story short, I had to leave him. I didn't want to but with everything else going on, my boundaries were NOT respected. My time was NOT respected. My mind was NOT respected. My body was NOT respected. (again, we had some oral hygiene issues here along with poly hygiene issues like lying about changing bed sheets between sex partners, mismanagement of other relationships).The final nail in the coffin was when he toyed with me about monogamy. He said that if I could make it three months with him so that he "could see this polyamory thing through" that he'd leave his girlfriend because she was toxic and that if he couldn't accept his open marriage, he would choose the mono life with me. We discussed what that would look like, because again, I'm not exactly mono. We talked about why we would choose that life instead of just being poly. We talked about how I really only want one person to be with romantically, but that ENM would be nice in terms of kink dynamics and group sex. We talked about what happens if either of us fell in love or wanted to be with another. I thought it was a pretty good talk. I felt we were on the same page.
We weren't
This has kind of turned into a rant about Z, but man, that relationship was intense and it crushed me to walk away. I know I have some mono conditioning going on but aside from that, I have studied the philosophy of love ever since middle school and we had IT... that thing, that certainty, that familiar feeling. I wanted to nest with him. To marry him. To be partners with him. It was all so effortless, even the hard talks. Watching him fall apart over his wife was hard but man, it was SO easy to remain objective and support him through that. I have only ever felt really polyamorous in those moments where he and I talked about his marriage and how to navigate these hard issues. I told him that I was 100 percent on board with whatever it took for he and his wife to get it together. It was everything else I couldn't deal with... the girlfriend (who is likely only toxic due to Z's behavior), him pursuing other relationships/sex while his current three weren't even okay, his lying and games, hygiene....
I don't know what I want from this post. To be exorcised from this pain would be nice. I know I have more exploring to do but how in the fuck do you meet people who not only take care of themselves, but know how to care for others? I find myself feeling wary of polyamory, of cismen, but I don't want to make choices in fear. Please be kind and open minded before commenting. I'm sensitive, lol.

submitted by desert_rose_341 to polyamory [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 00:04 CaptKutchiesTA The Kutchie's Key Lime Pie Mystery Part 1: Overview, Theories and Leads

The mystery of Captain Kutchie and his key lime pie has haunted the internet for over a decade now.It’s been extensively written on elsewhere, so I won’t spend long on the details I assume many already know, so check this link for some more in-depth info (https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/9wo93c/other_an_indepth_look_at_kutchies_key_lime_pies/ )
The basis of the mystery though, is that since 2010, an individual or group has been writing cryptic, bizarrely written rants on various websites about a restaurant called Captain Kutchie’s Key West Cafe, usually focusing on either the key lime pies served at this restaurant, or the owner, Oswald “Kutchie” Paleaz. For a long time, it was unclear that Kutchie’s actually existed, but it was eventually discovered that the restaurant did exist, and was open from the 1970s until 2009, at the address 2227-2201 Asheville Hwy, Hendersonville, NC 2879. The messages about Kutchie’s have turned up in various places throughout the internet, but they usually share a common format. Here is one sample:
“I Tried The Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!….(“They’re Great”!!!.).. .. …Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!… …Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!…. .\ .”
So, this is a typical example of what the posts look like, showing many of the common hallmarks: non-syntactic sentences, Capitalization Of Every Word, references to celebrities or politicians liking the pies and an odd radio-announcer like tone are some hallmarks of the writing style, though it can vary. It isn’t hard to see why, after finding these messages strewn across the internet like litter by the side of a freeway, people have gotten sucked into the investigation, and become suspicious of deeper meanings.
This 2-part longpost is going to be looking through the various writings of the mysterious poster over the years and the theories surrounding them, eventually leading up to my own personal quest to solve the mystery, and the findings I’ve made. I do not have a true wrap-up to this case, but I believe I have done the most in-depth research of anyone up until now, and I have discovered some hitherto unexplored leads. First, a look at the theories surrounding the case posited by other investigators over the years:
A Bot- This is a common theory due to the connection to a business, and the fact that the poster seems to respond to certain keywords (topics involving pie, sex, politics, and baby boomer pop culture). However, I think this one can be dismissed out of hand, the reason being that accounts connected to Kutchie’s have engaged and responded to people in a non-botlike way. More on that later. Beyond that, I can’t see any reason for someone to program such a bot, since there’s nothing to be gained from having a bot spend a decade posting nonsense about a defunct restaurant.
Oswald Pelaez himself- This is another one I’ve seen a few times, the assumption being that the posts are the Captain having a senior moment, or just fucking around in his old age. A visit to Pelaez’s Facebook page shows that he did indeed have a word-salad writing style, albeit not the exact same as the Kutchie's poster. However, it seems unlikely that this was the case, as a Redditor reported having contacted one of Pelaez’s sons, and finding that the Pelaez family appeared equally baffled.
An autistic or schizophrenic individual with a fixation on the restaurant: This suggestion derives from the unique writing style and monomaniacal interest of the poster. I have seen mental health professionals weighing in saying that the stream-of-conscious nature of the posts recalls their patients. I think people are drawn to this explanation because it puts something of a wholesome spin on the mystery- an individual with social/cognitive difficulties had a good experience at the restaurant while growing up in Asheville all those years ago, and now he wants to tell the internet about it in his one way. However, as again shown through communications with the poster, they are able to switch out of their “posting voice” and become more lucid, which may put this theory into doubt, or at least implies that the individual behind the posts is more high-functioning and calculating.
Coded messages or communications- This is a natural theory- the idea is that these posts are the modern equivalent of the Cold War number’s stations, broadcasting messages which can be read by the public, but are incomprehensible except to those privy to the info on how to decode it. The immediate problem with this theory is that the slow pace, repetitious nature, and semi-random web addresses of the postings would seem to make it hard to hide code in them. How would the recipients of the code even know where to look? However, there is also the possibility that it’s simply an individual screaming his coded messages into the void, to taunt people or conceal his intentions from all but a skilled codebreaker, rather like the Zodiac Killer or the Duclod Man. Why would this individual choose to hide his messages in the form of posts about a defunct restaurant? Who can say?
So, those are the major theories floating around out there regarding who the poster is. As we can see, a few of these theories can be dismissed out of hand, and one can potentially poke holes in all of them. Now that we’ve looked at the theories, it’s time for an overview of the posts themselves, as they have appeared over the past 10 years:
Foodio54- (http://foodio54.com/restaurant/South-Asheville-Arden-NC/c2e5c/Kutchies-Key-West-Kutcharitaville-Cafe) This restaurant review site hosts four separate reviews of Kutchie’s Key West Cafe. All four of these reviews are clearly written in the same style, and they were written over the course of several years. The oldest one here is by a user named VinnyGambini, after the character in My Cousin Vinny. Dating from December 2009, this may be the single oldest Kutchie’s post.
“Kutch Makes All Those Key Lime Pies From Real Ingredients, Including Real Key Lime Juice. "Anita" Kutchie's Lovely Wife Helps Him Now Making All Those Pies. She Also Runs The Front Too, As Well As The Office. Yea, Keep It All In The Family. Now That's How You Get Quality Control. "Pop", Kutchie's Dad Has Always Been There To Help From The Beginning. Kutchie's Mom Even Helped Out Until She Passed Away Several Years Ago. Threw The 80's Kutch and Anita Had Three Sons, Carlo, Santino and Joseph. Kutch Calls Them His Three Amigo's. All Three Sons Were Raised There In The Restaurant And Have Learned All Aspects Of The Business, From The Dish Tank, Mopping Floors, Cutting Meats, Serving Tables, Cooking And Tending Bar. Kutch Said That His First Road Sign Listed At The Bottom, "Family Restaurant". Kutch Said, "At That Time He Had No Idea That Someday His Whole Family Would Be The Ones Working There". Well I Guess, That's Life. Sometimes I Call Kutch and Ask Him How Are Things Going, He Says "Just Another Day In Paradise". Shit, I Can Tell That He Is Sick And Tired Of Doing The Same Old Thing Day-In And Day-Out. Kutch Would Never Admit That, He'll Probably Keep That Place Open To Train His Grand Kids The Business. Kutch Has Many People Calling, All The Time, Wanting Him To Start An On-Line Business To Sell His Key Lime Pies Country Wide. I Don't Know If He Can Bake That Many. He Seems Pretty Pushed As It Is. He Says That Maybe Someday He Will Throw Up Another Building And Put A Key Lime Pie Factory In It, And Start A Web-Site. May-Be He Will, May-Be He Wont, Who Knows. Just Don't Tell Him, That He Can't. “
Here, the poster refers to Oswald’s wife, Anita. He also accurately names Oswald’s three sons. I don’t know how many records about Oswald Pelaez were online in 2009, so I’m not sure whether the poster would have needed to know the family to have this information. The next oldest post is from 2012, and curiously, does not capitalize every word like most Kutchie’s posts. This poster signs their name as “Betty Joe Walker''. A Google search shows that there was one person with that name (there are a few other Betty Jo Walkers, but only one spelled J-o-e). Walker was a native of central North Carolina. And she died at the age of 67, one year before the post was made. This was the finding that made me start thinking of this mystery as something sinister. Why would a bot, or an individual simply sharing his happy memories, steal a dead person’s name? Two more Restaurant54 reviews of Kutchies’s date to 2013, and contain pretty standard content for the poster. One of them uses the name “Jake Carson'', which is used by this poster in other places as well.
Ozgold.com- Around 2012, the poster began writing posts claiming that Captain Kutchie was giving aways millions of dollars in prizes, and linking to a now defunct site called Ozgold.com. All of these posts can be found in a Pastebin here: https://pastebin.com/bT1z5ywT. He even links to Pelaez’s phone number in one of these. Oddly, he takes a negative tone towards Pelaez in some of these posts, writing in one “Please, Please, Please warn everyone about about ozsgold.com and Mr. OZ, That SOB has to be a crook or just plume loco. Maybe another Bernie Madoff, who the hell knows? It just ain't right.” Of course, this gold giveaway never existed either way as far as I can tell.
The copy-paste messages-
In 2013, the frequency of Kutchie’s posting really skyrocketed. IMDB, cooking sites, Fanfiction.net, Google Books reviews- nowhere was safe. Of course, the poster was mainly drawn in by particular key-topics: Pie, restaurants in genera, sex, politics, baby-boomer celebrities such as Johnny Carson. A few usernames were commonly employed for these posts: Roger Ramjet, Willie Jordan and Jake Carson. Most of these messages would be exact or near-exact copy pastes of one another. Some common topics of these posts included:
Key Lime Pies and Goody-goody Cheeseburgers- As far as can be gleaned from surviving ads, the restaurant prided itself on serving a variety of steaks and seafoods, but the key lime pies and burgers (which the poster always refers to as “goody-goody cheeseburgers”) seem to have been what made an impression to this person/bot/secret cabal. Occasionally, the poster will also reference Kutchie’s “prime ribs of beef with swamp water”. What does that mean- who knows?
Oswald’s wife, Anita Pelaez- generally refers to her as “lovely” or “hot”. "It just doesn't get any better than seeing her," as it appears.
The proximity of the restaurant to the Biltmore Estate- The Biltmore Estate was the home of George Vanderbilt II, and is by far the largest private residence ever built in America. It also happens to be located in Asheville. It seems as though the poster is trying to advertise the restaurant’s proximity to a major tourist attraction- heedless of the fact that the restaurant is closed.
Orgasms- Describing food as “better than sex” isn’t too weird, but our poster really likes to stretch out this saying. He refers to the food as giving him “piegasms” which he implies restored his sexual vitality. Here’s an excerpt of an example from the Google Books reviews of a book called “Incredible Orgasms”, by Marcelle Perks:
“.I Do Know First Hand That The Pelaez’s Famous Key Lime Pies Have The Ability To Turn Small Stream Squirters Into Major League Gushers Or Some Might Call Them “Niagara Falls”. Holly Molly, Let Those Good Times Flow, Baby! ….It’s No Wonder Everyone Believes That Kutchie Pelaez Is The Most Interesting Man In The World…..”Damn He Really Is” For Sure! …..That “Kutchie”, He Looks Marvelous Dahling!… ….”Hemingway”, Had Nothing On The “KutchMan”… ….Someone Overheard The “Kutchman” Say One Day That He Thought That He Was A Lesbian!… We Don’t Want To see Him Coming Out Of The Toilet With Just His Dick In His Hands”
Older Facebook Posts-
To my knowledge, at least three Facebook accounts have been linked to Kutchie's poster over the years. The oldest, operated from 2013-2016 is Jake Carson: https://www.facebook.com/jake.carson.98284/friends. The “Jake Carson” previously showed up as one of the reviewer names on Foodio54. The name bears resemblance to Johnny Carson, another obsession of the poster. This account had no friends, no photos or video uploaded, and never deviated from copy pasting the same few messages over and over. The Carson account was prolific in 2014, often posting 3-5 times/day. The frequency of posts eventually tapered, the last one being made in 2016. 2016 was also the year that the copy-pasted comments on various websites stopped appearing with regularity. Some people believe that the real Kutchie’s poster stopped at this point, and everything after 2016 has been trolls appropriating the role. As we will see, however, the post-2016 posts indicate an equally bizarre and committed writer, which makes it seem unlikely that it’s a different person.
The second Kutchie’s Facebook account appears in 2017. This is another personal account, which goes by the name Kutchie Pelaez. This is one of the main reasons some people think it isn’t operated by the same person- because the poster never previously claimed to be Captain Kutchie (though he did claim to have worked there in some posts). Unlike Jake Carson, Kutchie Pelaez doesn’t post copypasted messages. He does, however, have a variety of artists and musicians liked, including this band, The Ritards, with whom he has the following interaction: https://www.facebook.com/theritards/reviews/?ref=page_internal. What’s curious though, is that beyond this Facebook page, there is little indication that The Ritards actually exist. They have no music uploaded anywhere online, nor are there concert dates. Their posts do have a few likes though, most from people in the Eastern Pennsylvania area. When I messaged the Facebook page to ask what they knew about Captain Kutchie, my post was marked as “seen” almost immediately, even though the page has not been updated in two years. I received no response, however. While The Ritards seemed to be a dead-end, the Eastern PA music scene will prove to be important.
Also notable re: the Kutchie Pelaez Facebook page is the encounter Reddit user u/carinhabsburg had with the account, documented here: https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/5c7g4m/what_the_captain_kutchie_of_the_key_lime_pies/. They messaged the account to ask who Kutchie was. He replied by sending a paragraph of text from a demo version of Silent Hill, which was in Swedish. While u/carinhapsburg was Swedish, they were adamant that there was no way Kutchie should have known that. Referencing a modern video game is certainly out of character for the boomer-persona the Kutchie’s poster had built up, so you can certainly see why some think the post-2016 poster is a different person. However, the vaguely sinister tone of this interaction is not exactly without precedent, given that the poster was already stealing a dead woman’s name in 2012.
Deviantart- The same year that the Kutchie Pelaez Facebook debuted, a Devientart with the same profile picture debuted- https://www.deviantart.com/captainkutchie. The bio of this account ascribes a variety of odd attributes to Captain Kutchie- His favorite gaming platform? “A sidewalk large enough for a heated round of hopscotch or marbles.”
His favourite books? “Epidemically overrated teen paperback novels. Ikea instruction manuals.”
His “Tools of the Trade?” “My fists. Spells and potions.”
The accounts gallery posts are now deleted, and I unfortunately did not take any screenshots. There were three paragraphs that they copypsted over and over- one about Anita Pelaez and Kutchie’s prime rib, one excerpt from a Longmont Potion Castle bit, and one Charles Manson quote. Longmont Potion Castle is an anonymous individual who has recorded their prank calls since the early 90s. Since anonymity and the adoption of absurd personas are LPC’s hallmarks, it’s not hard to see why the Kutchie’s poster chooses to quote them. The Manson quote, while tying in to the poster’s obsession with famous people of the 60s and 70s, adds another deeply sinister element to the mystery.
Patti Salmon-
In 2018, the poster begins writing about Captain Kutchie’s under the name Patti Salmon (a pun on salmon patties?) These posts are differentiated from the past ones by their explicit political anger. While politics were already noted as one of the poster’s obsessions, Patti Salmon goes on disparaging rants, only loosely tied back to the restaurant, against liberal political figures.
This is an excerpt from a comment under a blog post about the Kutchie’s mystery (also indicating that the poster is self-aware of the mystery community’s interest in them):
“That Rep. Jerry Nadler (D) NY, Rag Head llhan Omar (D) Minn, Alex Ocasio-Horetez (D) NY, Ayanna Lesbo Pressley (D) Mass.., Rashida Tlaib (D) Mich., Al Green (D) Tx., Pocahantas Vermont Tribe with Bernie Sanders, Nervous Nancy Cookville Calf., Rachel Madnow (MSNBC), Robert De Negro (NY), Shifty Schiff Cookvill Calf., El Chapo, Bozo O’ Rourke (Who Cares)., Maxine Impeach Waters Cookville Calf., Woopi Goldbrick (ABC)., Joy Blowhard (ABC)., Rainny Hostin (ABC)., Juan Williams (FOX NEWS)., Adoff Hilter (HELL)., Hell-They’re All really some kind of Commie’s ? Impeach Them NOW!!! Oh, I forgot one, The Rev. Al Not-So-Sharpton, very interesting butt Stupid! Let’s Send them all to the moon for the next 50 Years! What would Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Say? Well, He would probably say something like “No Soup For You!!!”. “Come Back 50 years”. Or something like for all those “Politicos” “Stay Away From Those Manholes” and he would say “Don’t Get None On Ya!”. Anyway, we sure-do still agree with all those “Kutcharitaville and Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Reports that everyone has been posting for the last 25 years or however long this internet thing has been going on. Captain Kutchie has been World Famous way longer than this stupid internet for damn sure. You can take that to the bank, Thats’ GOLD Jerry it’s GOLD! Or put it in your pipe and smoke it. He would also say, All of today’s Anti Trumpers are mad because, they were promised by The Dragon Lady HerSelf “Hillary Clinton” a leading Membership in Hillary’s 666 New World Order! What makes all these Racist, Commie Leftest Liberal Wannabee everything for nothing AssHoles and they’re Scum Sucking Pig, Fake News Chicken-Shit, Ass Licking Fake Reporters think that they can outsmart our “Lord Christ Jesus”? Hillary, your lord Satan was defeated way back on The Cross and yet, YOU, continue to deceive and recruit all those weak souls that you can fool too follow you back home straight too HELL!”
Note the interest in conspiracy theories here.
Newer Facebook Posts-
Finally, we come to the newest Facebook account, this one a page for a business rather than a personal account- Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe (not linked here, gonna go ahead and say Do Not Interact). This page debuted in July 2020, just weeks before I fell down the Kutchie’s rabbithole and began this investigation. Unsurprisingly given its recency, it does not appear to have been discovered by anyone else in the mystery community.
The earliest posts from this page are simply shares of Jake Carson’s posts from several years prior. On July 12th, the Kutcharitaville page began posting longer messages, at a rate of 5+ every day. These posts are nonsensical jumbles of words that appear in other Kutchie’s posts, and appear to have been created by either a bot, or one of those story generators where you feed paragraphs in and it tries to rearrange them syntactically. Here’s a sample from a much longer post.
“BILTMORE HOUSE AND WE LOVELY ANITA PELAEZ IS THE PELAEZ IS THE WORLD THEY EVERYONE S KEY WEST FAME LOCATED NEAR THE BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE BILLED AS THE LOVELY COUPLE S KEY WEST FAME LOCATED NEAR THE MEL FISHER HE THOSE GOOD NEWS NOT A LESBIAN ANITA S BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE LOVELY COUPLE S BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE LOVELY COUPLE HOUSE AND THEY EVERYONE S SEX RATES BY KUTCHIE S BEST AND WE LOVELY COUPLE S SEX RATES BY NO LESS THAN HIS FATHER THEY EVERYONE S GOOD NEWS NOT A WIN WIN WIN FOR ANYTHING ON THE DOG ATE YOURS DICK IN THE PELAEZ OVER AND TREASURE MUCH MORE ANITA PELAEZ AND HER FAMOUS DEEP SEA UNDERWATER AND HER FAMOUS KEY WEST FAME MAY”
Interspersed with these posts are excerpts from North Carolinian newspapers that reference the restaurant, and photos of the exterior and interior of the abandoned building. What’s interesting is that the photos of the building don’t appear to be from anywhere on the internet. In other words, that means the poster must have actually gone to the building, and either broken in or been let in. This is the reason why I, as stated earlier, think that the post-2016 posts do come from the same individual as the older ones. The level of obsession indicated here is not that of a troll or a LARPer. It’s that of someone truly devoted to an inscrutable cause. Interestingly, one of these posts received a like from the Kutchie Pelaez account, indicating it was still active too in July 2020.
More recently, the account began posting coherent sentences that bear no relation to Captain Kutchie or key lime pies. In a post from July 28th, the poster copypastes the phrase “mail dropped to Rhode Island” 35 times, and below that “From Delaware.” Another post copies the phrase “My brother was eaten by wolves on the Connecticut turnpike,” which is a line from the Stephen King story “1408”.
On July 31st, the poster writes “Carrie Lam is not nice with China. She will end floating in a water tank”, copying this phrase dozens of times. This appears to be a macabre pun on the shared surnames of Carrie Lam, controversial mayor of Hong-Kong, and Elisa Lam, a woman who drowned in a water tank under circumstances that have made her story a fixture in the online unsolved-mysteries community. At the time of writing, the most recent post is from August 25th, and reads
“USE [master] Mexico. Mexico. Mexico. Soon we are in Mexico. (+14) and in we go. GO”
Screencaps of some posts, for posterity: https://imgur.com/gallery/R8ssLw6
This is the current status of the Kutchie’s poster. Dark, cryptic phrases, repeated on a Facebook page to 69 followers. Next, I’m going to be posting about the results of my personal investigation into the Kutchie’s mystery, featuring my interactions with this account, among others.
Edit
I have made a significant error in my post. The owner of the restaurant was Oswald Pelaez Jr, nor senior, and Anita was his wife, while Polly was his father's wife. So Captain Kutchie is still alive, I believe
submitted by CaptKutchiesTA to nonmurdermysteries [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 23:04 CaptKutchiesTA The Kutchie's Key Lime Pie Mystery Part 1: Overview, Theories and Leads

The mystery of Captain Kutchie and his key lime pie has haunted the internet for over a decade now.It’s been extensively written on elsewhere, so I won’t spend long on the details I assume many already know, so check this link for some more in-depth info (https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/9wo93c/other_an_indepth_look_at_kutchies_key_lime_pies/ )
The basis of the mystery though, is that since 2010, an individual or group has been writing cryptic, bizarrely written rants on various websites about a restaurant called Captain Kutchie’s Key West Cafe, usually focusing on either the key lime pies served at this restaurant, or the owner, Oswald “Kutchie” Paleaz. For a long time, it was unclear that Kutchie’s actually existed, but it was eventually discovered that the restaurant did exist, and was open from the 1970s until 2009, at the address 2227-2201 Asheville Hwy, Hendersonville, NC 2879. The messages about Kutchie’s have turned up in various places throughout the internet, but they usually share a common format. Here is one sample:
“I Tried The Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!….(“They’re Great”!!!.).. .. …Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!… …Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!…. .\ .”
So, this is a typical example of what the posts look like, showing many of the common hallmarks: non-syntactic sentences, Capitalization Of Every Word, references to celebrities or politicians liking the pies and an odd radio-announcer like tone are some hallmarks of the writing style, though it can vary. It isn’t hard to see why, after finding these messages strewn across the internet like litter by the side of a freeway, people have gotten sucked into the investigation, and become suspicious of deeper meanings.
This 2-part longpost is going to be looking through the various writings of the mysterious poster over the years and the theories surrounding them, eventually leading up to my own personal quest to solve the mystery, and the findings I’ve made. I do not have a true wrap-up to this case, but I believe I have done the most in-depth research of anyone up until now, and I have discovered some hitherto unexplored leads. First, a look at the theories surrounding the case posited by other investigators over the years:
A Bot- This is a common theory due to the connection to a business, and the fact that the poster seems to respond to certain keywords (topics involving pie, sex, politics, and baby boomer pop culture). However, I think this one can be dismissed out of hand, the reason being that accounts connected to Kutchie’s have engaged and responded to people in a non-botlike way. More on that later. Beyond that, I can’t see any reason for someone to program such a bot, since there’s nothing to be gained from having a bot spend a decade posting nonsense about a defunct restaurant.
Oswald Pelaez himself- This is another one I’ve seen a few times, the assumption being that the posts are the Captain having a senior moment, or just fucking around in his old age. A visit to Pelaez’s Facebook page shows that he did indeed have a word-salad writing style, albeit not the exact same as the Kutchie's poster. However, it seems unlikely that this was the case, as a Redditor reported having contacted one of Pelaez’s sons, and finding that the Pelaez family appeared equally baffled.
An autistic or schizophrenic individual with a fixation on the restaurant: This suggestion derives from the unique writing style and monomaniacal interest of the poster. I have seen mental health professionals weighing in saying that the stream-of-conscious nature of the posts recalls their patients. I think people are drawn to this explanation because it puts something of a wholesome spin on the mystery- an individual with social/cognitive difficulties had a good experience at the restaurant while growing up in Asheville all those years ago, and now he wants to tell the internet about it in his one way. However, as again shown through communications with the poster, they are able to switch out of their “posting voice” and become more lucid, which may put this theory into doubt, or at least implies that the individual behind the posts is more high-functioning and calculating.
Coded messages or communications- This is a natural theory- the idea is that these posts are the modern equivalent of the Cold War number’s stations, broadcasting messages which can be read by the public, but are incomprehensible except to those privy to the info on how to decode it. The immediate problem with this theory is that the slow pace, repetitious nature, and semi-random web addresses of the postings would seem to make it hard to hide code in them. How would the recipients of the code even know where to look? However, there is also the possibility that it’s simply an individual screaming his coded messages into the void, to taunt people or conceal his intentions from all but a skilled codebreaker, rather like the Zodiac Killer or the Duclod Man. Why would this individual choose to hide his messages in the form of posts about a defunct restaurant? Who can say?
So, those are the major theories floating around out there regarding who the poster is. As we can see, a few of these theories can be dismissed out of hand, and one can potentially poke holes in all of them. Now that we’ve looked at the theories, it’s time for an overview of the posts themselves, as they have appeared over the past 10 years:
Foodio54- (http://foodio54.com/restaurant/South-Asheville-Arden-NC/c2e5c/Kutchies-Key-West-Kutcharitaville-Cafe) This restaurant review site hosts four separate reviews of Kutchie’s Key West Cafe. All four of these reviews are clearly written in the same style, and they were written over the course of several years. The oldest one here is by a user named VinnyGambini, after the character in My Cousin Vinny. Dating from December 2009, this may be the single oldest Kutchie’s post.
“Kutch Makes All Those Key Lime Pies From Real Ingredients, Including Real Key Lime Juice. "Anita" Kutchie's Lovely Wife Helps Him Now Making All Those Pies. She Also Runs The Front Too, As Well As The Office. Yea, Keep It All In The Family. Now That's How You Get Quality Control. "Pop", Kutchie's Dad Has Always Been There To Help From The Beginning. Kutchie's Mom Even Helped Out Until She Passed Away Several Years Ago. Threw The 80's Kutch and Anita Had Three Sons, Carlo, Santino and Joseph. Kutch Calls Them His Three Amigo's. All Three Sons Were Raised There In The Restaurant And Have Learned All Aspects Of The Business, From The Dish Tank, Mopping Floors, Cutting Meats, Serving Tables, Cooking And Tending Bar. Kutch Said That His First Road Sign Listed At The Bottom, "Family Restaurant". Kutch Said, "At That Time He Had No Idea That Someday His Whole Family Would Be The Ones Working There". Well I Guess, That's Life. Sometimes I Call Kutch and Ask Him How Are Things Going, He Says "Just Another Day In Paradise". Shit, I Can Tell That He Is Sick And Tired Of Doing The Same Old Thing Day-In And Day-Out. Kutch Would Never Admit That, He'll Probably Keep That Place Open To Train His Grand Kids The Business. Kutch Has Many People Calling, All The Time, Wanting Him To Start An On-Line Business To Sell His Key Lime Pies Country Wide. I Don't Know If He Can Bake That Many. He Seems Pretty Pushed As It Is. He Says That Maybe Someday He Will Throw Up Another Building And Put A Key Lime Pie Factory In It, And Start A Web-Site. May-Be He Will, May-Be He Wont, Who Knows. Just Don't Tell Him, That He Can't. “
Here, the poster refers to Oswald’s wife, Anita. He also accurately names Oswald’s three sons. I don’t know how many records about Oswald Pelaez were online in 2009, so I’m not sure whether the poster would have needed to know the family to have this information. The next oldest post is from 2012, and curiously, does not capitalize every word like most Kutchie’s posts. This poster signs their name as “Betty Joe Walker''. A Google search shows that there was one person with that name (there are a few other Betty Jo Walkers, but only one spelled J-o-e). Walker was a native of central North Carolina. And she died at the age of 67, one year before the post was made. This was the finding that made me start thinking of this mystery as something sinister. Why would a bot, or an individual simply sharing his happy memories, steal a dead person’s name? Two more Restaurant54 reviews of Kutchies’s date to 2013, and contain pretty standard content for the poster. One of them uses the name “Jake Carson'', which is used by this poster in other places as well.
Ozgold.com- Around 2012, the poster began writing posts claiming that Captain Kutchie was giving aways millions of dollars in prizes, and linking to a now defunct site called Ozgold.com. All of these posts can be found in a Pastebin here: https://pastebin.com/bT1z5ywT. He even links to Pelaez’s phone number in one of these. Oddly, he takes a negative tone towards Pelaez in some of these posts, writing in one “Please, Please, Please warn everyone about about ozsgold.com and Mr. OZ, That SOB has to be a crook or just plume loco. Maybe another Bernie Madoff, who the hell knows? It just ain't right.” Of course, this gold giveaway never existed either way as far as I can tell.
The copy-paste messages-
In 2013, the frequency of Kutchie’s posting really skyrocketed. IMDB, cooking sites, Fanfiction.net, Google Books reviews- nowhere was safe. Of course, the poster was mainly drawn in by particular key-topics: Pie, restaurants in genera, sex, politics, baby-boomer celebrities such as Johnny Carson. A few usernames were commonly employed for these posts: Roger Ramjet, Willie Jordan and Jake Carson. Most of these messages would be exact or near-exact copy pastes of one another. Some common topics of these posts included:
Key Lime Pies and Goody-goody Cheeseburgers- As far as can be gleaned from surviving ads, the restaurant prided itself on serving a variety of steaks and seafoods, but the key lime pies and burgers (which the poster always refers to as “goody-goody cheeseburgers”) seem to have been what made an impression to this person/bot/secret cabal. Occasionally, the poster will also reference Kutchie’s “prime ribs of beef with swamp water”. What does that mean- who knows?
Oswald’s wife, Anita Pelaez- generally refers to her as “lovely” or “hot”. "It just doesn't get any better than seeing her," as it appears.
The proximity of the restaurant to the Biltmore Estate- The Biltmore Estate was the home of George Vanderbilt II, and is by far the largest private residence ever built in America. It also happens to be located in Asheville. It seems as though the poster is trying to advertise the restaurant’s proximity to a major tourist attraction- heedless of the fact that the restaurant is closed.
Orgasms- Describing food as “better than sex” isn’t too weird, but our poster really likes to stretch out this saying. He refers to the food as giving him “piegasms” which he implies restored his sexual vitality. Here’s an excerpt of an example from the Google Books reviews of a book called “Incredible Orgasms”, by Marcelle Perks:
“.I Do Know First Hand That The Pelaez’s Famous Key Lime Pies Have The Ability To Turn Small Stream Squirters Into Major League Gushers Or Some Might Call Them “Niagara Falls”. Holly Molly, Let Those Good Times Flow, Baby! ….It’s No Wonder Everyone Believes That Kutchie Pelaez Is The Most Interesting Man In The World…..”Damn He Really Is” For Sure! …..That “Kutchie”, He Looks Marvelous Dahling!… ….”Hemingway”, Had Nothing On The “KutchMan”… ….Someone Overheard The “Kutchman” Say One Day That He Thought That He Was A Lesbian!… We Don’t Want To see Him Coming Out Of The Toilet With Just His Dick In His Hands”
Older Facebook Posts-
To my knowledge, at least three Facebook accounts have been linked to Kutchie's poster over the years. The oldest, operated from 2013-2016 is Jake Carson: https://www.facebook.com/jake.carson.98284/friends. The “Jake Carson” previously showed up as one of the reviewer names on Foodio54. The name bears resemblance to Johnny Carson, another obsession of the poster. This account had no friends, no photos or video uploaded, and never deviated from copy pasting the same few messages over and over. The Carson account was prolific in 2014, often posting 3-5 times/day. The frequency of posts eventually tapered, the last one being made in 2016. 2016 was also the year that the copy-pasted comments on various websites stopped appearing with regularity. Some people believe that the real Kutchie’s poster stopped at this point, and everything after 2016 has been trolls appropriating the role. As we will see, however, the post-2016 posts indicate an equally bizarre and committed writer, which makes it seem unlikely that it’s a different person.
The second Kutchie’s Facebook account appears in 2017. This is another personal account, which goes by the name Kutchie Pelaez. This is one of the main reasons some people think it isn’t operated by the same person- because the poster never previously claimed to be Captain Kutchie (though he did claim to have worked there in some posts). Unlike Jake Carson, Kutchie Pelaez doesn’t post copypasted messages. He does, however, have a variety of artists and musicians liked, including this band, The Ritards, with whom he has the following interaction: https://www.facebook.com/theritards/reviews/?ref=page_internal. What’s curious though, is that beyond this Facebook page, there is little indication that The Ritards actually exist. They have no music uploaded anywhere online, nor are there concert dates. Their posts do have a few likes though, most from people in the Eastern Pennsylvania area. When I messaged the Facebook page to ask what they knew about Captain Kutchie, my post was marked as “seen” almost immediately, even though the page has not been updated in two years. I received no response, however. While The Ritards seemed to be a dead-end, the Eastern PA music scene will prove to be important.
Also notable re: the Kutchie Pelaez Facebook page is the encounter Reddit user u/carinhabsburg had with the account, documented here: https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/5c7g4m/what_the_captain_kutchie_of_the_key_lime_pies/. They messaged the account to ask who Kutchie was. He replied by sending a paragraph of text from a demo version of Silent Hill, which was in Swedish. While u/carinhapsburg was Swedish, they were adamant that there was no way Kutchie should have known that. Referencing a modern video game is certainly out of character for the boomer-persona the Kutchie’s poster had built up, so you can certainly see why some think the post-2016 poster is a different person. However, the vaguely sinister tone of this interaction is not exactly without precedent, given that the poster was already stealing a dead woman’s name in 2012.
Deviantart- The same year that the Kutchie Pelaez Facebook debuted, a Devientart with the same profile picture debuted- https://www.deviantart.com/captainkutchie. The bio of this account ascribes a variety of odd attributes to Captain Kutchie- His favorite gaming platform? “A sidewalk large enough for a heated round of hopscotch or marbles.”
His favourite books? “Epidemically overrated teen paperback novels. Ikea instruction manuals.”
His “Tools of the Trade?” “My fists. Spells and potions.”
The accounts gallery posts are now deleted, and I unfortunately did not take any screenshots. There were three paragraphs that they copypsted over and over- one about Anita Pelaez and Kutchie’s prime rib, one excerpt from a Longmont Potion Castle bit, and one Charles Manson quote. Longmont Potion Castle is an anonymous individual who has recorded their prank calls since the early 90s. Since anonymity and the adoption of absurd personas are LPC’s hallmarks, it’s not hard to see why the Kutchie’s poster chooses to quote them. The Manson quote, while tying in to the poster’s obsession with famous people of the 60s and 70s, adds another deeply sinister element to the mystery.
Patti Salmon-
In 2018, the poster begins writing about Captain Kutchie’s under the name Patti Salmon (a pun on salmon patties?) These posts are differentiated from the past ones by their explicit political anger. While politics were already noted as one of the poster’s obsessions, Patti Salmon goes on disparaging rants, only loosely tied back to the restaurant, against liberal political figures.
This is an excerpt from a comment under a blog post about the Kutchie’s mystery (also indicating that the poster is self-aware of the mystery community’s interest in them):
“That Rep. Jerry Nadler (D) NY, Rag Head llhan Omar (D) Minn, Alex Ocasio-Horetez (D) NY, Ayanna Lesbo Pressley (D) Mass.., Rashida Tlaib (D) Mich., Al Green (D) Tx., Pocahantas Vermont Tribe with Bernie Sanders, Nervous Nancy Cookville Calf., Rachel Madnow (MSNBC), Robert De Negro (NY), Shifty Schiff Cookvill Calf., El Chapo, Bozo O’ Rourke (Who Cares)., Maxine Impeach Waters Cookville Calf., Woopi Goldbrick (ABC)., Joy Blowhard (ABC)., Rainny Hostin (ABC)., Juan Williams (FOX NEWS)., Adoff Hilter (HELL)., Hell-They’re All really some kind of Commie’s ? Impeach Them NOW!!! Oh, I forgot one, The Rev. Al Not-So-Sharpton, very interesting butt Stupid! Let’s Send them all to the moon for the next 50 Years! What would Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Say? Well, He would probably say something like “No Soup For You!!!”. “Come Back 50 years”. Or something like for all those “Politicos” “Stay Away From Those Manholes” and he would say “Don’t Get None On Ya!”. Anyway, we sure-do still agree with all those “Kutcharitaville and Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Reports that everyone has been posting for the last 25 years or however long this internet thing has been going on. Captain Kutchie has been World Famous way longer than this stupid internet for damn sure. You can take that to the bank, Thats’ GOLD Jerry it’s GOLD! Or put it in your pipe and smoke it. He would also say, All of today’s Anti Trumpers are mad because, they were promised by The Dragon Lady HerSelf “Hillary Clinton” a leading Membership in Hillary’s 666 New World Order! What makes all these Racist, Commie Leftest Liberal Wannabee everything for nothing AssHoles and they’re Scum Sucking Pig, Fake News Chicken-Shit, Ass Licking Fake Reporters think that they can outsmart our “Lord Christ Jesus”? Hillary, your lord Satan was defeated way back on The Cross and yet, YOU, continue to deceive and recruit all those weak souls that you can fool too follow you back home straight too HELL!”
Note the interest in conspiracy theories here.
Newer Facebook Posts-
Finally, we come to the newest Facebook account, this one a page for a business rather than a personal account- Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe (not linked here, gonna go ahead and say Do Not Interact). This page debuted in July 2020, just weeks before I fell down the Kutchie’s rabbithole and began this investigation. Unsurprisingly given its recency, it does not appear to have been discovered by anyone else in the mystery community.
The earliest posts from this page are simply shares of Jake Carson’s posts from several years prior. On July 12th, the Kutcharitaville page began posting longer messages, at a rate of 5+ every day. These posts are nonsensical jumbles of words that appear in other Kutchie’s posts, and appear to have been created by either a bot, or one of those story generators where you feed paragraphs in and it tries to rearrange them syntactically. Here’s a sample from a much longer post.
“BILTMORE HOUSE AND WE LOVELY ANITA PELAEZ IS THE PELAEZ IS THE WORLD THEY EVERYONE S KEY WEST FAME LOCATED NEAR THE BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE BILLED AS THE LOVELY COUPLE S KEY WEST FAME LOCATED NEAR THE MEL FISHER HE THOSE GOOD NEWS NOT A LESBIAN ANITA S BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE LOVELY COUPLE S BEST AND GRILL WHERE THE LOVELY COUPLE HOUSE AND THEY EVERYONE S SEX RATES BY KUTCHIE S BEST AND WE LOVELY COUPLE S SEX RATES BY NO LESS THAN HIS FATHER THEY EVERYONE S GOOD NEWS NOT A WIN WIN WIN FOR ANYTHING ON THE DOG ATE YOURS DICK IN THE PELAEZ OVER AND TREASURE MUCH MORE ANITA PELAEZ AND HER FAMOUS DEEP SEA UNDERWATER AND HER FAMOUS KEY WEST FAME MAY”
Interspersed with these posts are excerpts from North Carolinian newspapers that reference the restaurant, and photos of the exterior and interior of the abandoned building. What’s interesting is that the photos of the building don’t appear to be from anywhere on the internet. In other words, that means the poster must have actually gone to the building, and either broken in or been let in. This is the reason why I, as stated earlier, think that the post-2016 posts do come from the same individual as the older ones. The level of obsession indicated here is not that of a troll or a LARPer. It’s that of someone truly devoted to an inscrutable cause. Interestingly, one of these posts received a like from the Kutchie Pelaez account, indicating it was still active too in July 2020.
More recently, the account began posting coherent sentences that bear no relation to Captain Kutchie or key lime pies. In a post from July 28th, the poster copypastes the phrase “mail dropped to Rhode Island” 35 times, and below that “From Delaware.” Another post copies the phrase “My brother was eaten by wolves on the Connecticut turnpike,” which is a line from the Stephen King story “1408”.
On July 31st, the poster writes “Carrie Lam is not nice with China. She will end floating in a water tank”, copying this phrase dozens of times. This appears to be a macabre pun on the shared surnames of Carrie Lam, controversial mayor of Hong-Kong, and Elisa Lam, a woman who drowned in a water tank under circumstances that have made her story a fixture in the online unsolved-mysteries community. At the time of writing, the most recent post is from August 25th, and reads
“USE [master] Mexico. Mexico. Mexico. Soon we are in Mexico. (+14) and in we go. GO”
Screencaps of some posts, for posterity: https://imgur.com/gallery/R8ssLw6
This is the current status of the Kutchie’s poster. Dark, cryptic phrases, repeated on a Facebook page to 69 followers. Next, I’m going to be posting about the results of my personal investigation into the Kutchie’s mystery, featuring my interactions with this account, among others.
Edit
I have made a significant error in my post. The owner of the restaurant was Oswald Pelaez Jr, nor senior, and Anita was his wife, while Polly was his father's wife. So Captain Kutchie is still alive, I believe
submitted by CaptKutchiesTA to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 10:46 joshuawaggoner90 Werewolves are Assholes: Pt 5

[F]
Werewolves are Assholes, But Vampires are Worse 1/2
So as you can imagine, at this point things weren't looking so hot for us. We had Little Missy locked up with some kind of supernatural furniture next to Mark in my garage, one of our werewolves is bed-er... toilet ridden, we have a literal hostage situation, our seasoned vampire hunter was nowhere to be found(and I'll definitely be having a talk with that secret keeping bitch about that when I see her again), and yeah... the vampires. I was definitely in way over my head. I mean I ain't gonna leave the little hoodlums to fend for themselves, but you can bet your ass I'll never have to wash a dish or dust a shelf for the rest of my life after this. Oh, and for the people asking about our cannibalistic princess and her name, well she said something about it when she asked me to write this part. She said she wants to do something like in that Brad Pitt movie where the guy telling the story never mentions their name. That girl sure likes her movies... Bless her heart.
So at this point we were still all huddled in the living room trying to figure out what we were going to do next, making our best effort to talk over the dual barrage of obscenities spilling out from the garage. Finally we agreed to close the door for a minute and let them tucker themselves out.
"Ok, Wolf Boy, ideas." I said once I closed the door and walked back into the room with everyone else.
"I... Um... We might be screwed." Milo says in response.
That was followed by a mild uproar from everyone in attendance. Likely not what they wanted to hear from the only one in the room even half familiar with all this nonsense. I managed to get everyone quieted down about the time Jasmine started to pick up another heavy object to bash Milo with again.
"Alright alright! Everyone just calm the hell down!" I hollered over the ruckus. "Listen sugar, you gotta chill. It ain't that boy's fault he's simple." I said to Jasmine while I took the marble elephant statue out of her hands. "And this was expensive. Try to go for something cheap next time."
About that time Trey spoke up. "Ok, so we have to do something. We damn sure can't leave her in there like that." He said, pointing towards the garage where some muffled commotion could still be heard.
"And what the hell is it we're supposed to do?!" Joannah commented back.
Trey started to answer but Dex beat him to it. "What ever we can!" He shouted. "Not to mention that guy's still in there with plugs missing from him all over the place. And I don't know about you but if I have to clean up one more pile of Mark-shit, him or me one is gonna die."
About this time the sun was already up. And about mid argument we all stopped and turned when we heard the stairs creak as Teagan came down.
"What is all these noise and screams?" She said in that darling broken English of hers. She looked an absolute mess. Poor girl looked like death eating a cracker.
"Oh sweetie you don't need to worry about all that right now." I said about the same time Milo said,
"What are you doing down here? You should go rest some more. I'll come up and tell you everything in a little w-" But she cut him off.
"NO! You will tell me now!" She demanded. "Somebody drop the peas."
"Beans." Dex said. "It's spill the beans."
"What?" Teagan asked. "Who has spilled beans?"
"No no, I was just... The expression is to spill the beans." He tried to explain.
"Why did you spill beans? Have you cleaned them? Why would you leave such mess?" She scolded. "You go clean these beans."
Milo was now off in a corner with his face buried in his palms in embarrassment, Dex made his way into the kitchen long enough to fake clean imaginary beans and return to the living room with everyone else. "Ok, fuck all of you for not helping me out with that." He said.
Then we got Teagan up to speed on everything that happened since she went up stairs, down to the little metal thing that just saved all our asses. As you might imagine, she was a tad... distraught.
"WHAT?! YOU HAVE HER LOCKED LIKE SOME ANIMAL?!" She screamed before turning to make for the garage.
"NO NO!" Milo stopped her. "We're trying to let her wear herself out for a while to see if that calms her down a little."
"NO! I must go to help h-" She stopped as long, low, growl roared across the room from Teagan's... stomach. "Oh no!" She groaned before grabbing her gut and dashing up the stairs like lightning. A few seconds later we all heard the bathroom door slam shut.
We all turned to look at Milo again.
"...... Werewolf.... stuff." He said quietly, suddenly forcing us all to recall the phrase that near traumatized us all about a week ago... "Had to poop out my werewolf arm."
"Yeah... What goes up must come down, what goes in... must come out." He explained in his own kinda way. "It's hard on the body to do what she did. Didn't have enough food stored for mass so when she changed it took till there wasn't anything left to take. Now her body is trying to get rid of everything that isn't mostly human, which doesn't leave her with much. That's why she's so bad off right now."
"The poor girl..." Lesley murmured softly.
"She's made it through the worst of it." Milo reassured her.
"So... does the "out" part get worse too when you change all the way?" Dex asked.
"That's disgusting!" Joannah exclaimed. "Why would you ask that?!"
And as you can all imagine, Joannah's revulsion at the question only served to excite Milo's enthusiasm to answer.
"Define worse." Milo said with a grin.
"What do you mean?" Dex questioned.
"Well I mean worse for who? The one doing it... or whoever has to deal with the aftermath?" He smiled even bigger in Joannah's direction causing her to wince. "When we're fully transformed we're also in a lot better shape when we change back, but what comes out, well... you guys ever seen Jurassic Park?"
It took us a second before we collectively groaned "Oh my god!"
"I mean now Teagan, she's a proper lady about it. Usually brings some toilet paper and finds her a secluded spot away from civilization and innocent human beings and takes care of it there." He went on.
"Annnd... what do you do? To ask a question I don't really think I want answered." Trey said.
"Ah, well ya see I like to find the nearest construction site and just unleash hell on some poor, unsuspecting port-a-john. Then I like to hide and wait around for the first person to open the door. One guy actually started crying. It was great." Milo bragged.
And there we were, in the middle of my house, having an in depth conversation about werewolf shit. Somebody stop the merry go round. I want off...
Nobody went back to sleep. We all stayed up and discussed what we was gonna do now, to little success. After a while me, Trey, and Milo went to the kitchen to start making some food for the recovering Teagan upstairs, who Lesley, Dex, Jasmine and Joannah were with. We'd finish making something and one of them would come down long enough to snatch it up and take it to her.
After a while Trey and Milo got to chatting.
"So how'd you and her meet?" Milo asked Trey, inquiring about the rabid shit head on lockdown in the garage.
"Met in college." He answered. "Same economics class. Actually, the first conversation we ever had was her asking me out."
Milo slammed his hand down hard on the table. "WHAT?!!" He yelled.
"Yeah, we even went on a couple of dates way back." Trey laughed. "Once we even... held hands."
"You dated... HER?" Milo asked, pointing towards the garage.
"Well yeah. I mean she's not so bad all the time and she's cute, in an "I might stab you in your sleep" kind of way." Trey replied.
"Oh my god..." Milo said, leaning back in his chair to look around the corner. "You're right. She's... cute. What the hell?"
"But I thought she was-" Milo started.
"A lesbian?" I interrupted. "Well I get how you might think that. She does mostly bat for the away team but I catch her looking at the fellas every now and then. I try not to label them kinds of things. That way nobody feels pressured to stay inside a box. Let people hump whoever they wanna hump I say."
"But you let people call you Gay Jake." Milo says.
"That's cause I'm queer as a three dollar bill sweety. Don't want nothing to do with any vagina. They creep me right ass out. They look like them face things from the alien movie. You ever make eye contact with one? Looks like something's gonna try to jump out and get ya." I explain, likely a little more vividly than entirely necessary.
"Mmkay..." Milo says slowly, somewhat cringing. "What about the others? How'd they all meet?"
"Well Joannah is kinda new to all this. I met her at the mall where she worked and we'd only been dating for about a week before we... met you." Trey answered.
"Yeah, and Dex was already living here when I brought Shit Head in." I added.
"Wait, Dex lived here too? Why?" Milo asked.
"That boy had his problems too. I had a lot troubled kids through here over the years. Dex had him a fondness for opioids which led him to a fondness for heroin. So he ended up here in a similar way. He was cleaned up and getting back on his feet about the time that little hellion came." I said.
"Then what?" Milo asked, scooting forward in his seat.
"Oh she bullied the piss out of the poor boy." I told him. "But that boy stayed and took it all and never complained not the first time. And I'd tell him, I'd say "Why you let her do you like that?" and he'd just smile and say that he could see how much pent up anger she had, and that she was dealing with it the only way she knew how. Bless that boy's heart, he hung in there till the bitter end to where one day she just snapped, and all the guilt of every time she'd smack him or push him or call him some horrible name or break something of his hit her all and once."
"And then what?" Milo asked almost standing up off his chair.
"She did something a hadn't ever seen her do up to that point. She apologized. Hell, after that you'd hardly see them apart really. I don't think she would have recovered as well if he wasn't around like he was. I think they been best friends ever since then." I explained. "I been catching him peeking into the garage on his way back upstairs every time he comes down to get Teagan's food."
After that conversation I'd catch Milo and Dex making their way from the kitchen to the garage to Teagan's room side by side. I mean most of the time it was just long enough to let a pressure wave of obscenities burst through the opening, but they were making the effort just the same. An now let me tell y'all, this next part just 'bout broke my little heart.
Later that night I went to poke my head in the garage real quick and oh my goodness. I found Milo and Dex both sitting on the cold concrete floor. Dex was out like a light lean't up against the wall, but Milo had brought a laptop downstairs and had it open and playing her favorite movies for her. Every now and then he'd catch Mark trying to watch so he'd pick something random off the floor and throw it at him saying "NO! You don't get to watch." Which would cause our predatory princess to crack an evil little giggle each time.
Now don't get me wrong, I still wasn't going to get in range of her chompers, but this was the calmest she'd been so far. I stuck my head in just a little and asked Milo if he needed anything.
"Nah, Teagan passed out from the itus a while ago so I figured I'd hang down here with Jaws and the Fecal Phenom over there and keep her company." He answered.
"Hey... Is that HER laptop?" I asked. "How'd you get into that? She keeps it locked up like Fort Knox."
"Well... at first she said she'd open it for me. But when I tried to hand it to her... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..." He turned to show me a mouth sized section of his right sleeve missing with what was apparently dried blood around the edges. "So I had to figure it out myself. Wasn't too hard. Turns out it was bobbys idgets. All one word."
"Boy, you gotta tell me, are you an idiot or a genius? I gotta know." I finally broke down and asked him what we was all thinking.
"Exactly." He answered with a wink and turned back to the screen.
That boy makes me tired I swear to god. He's lucky he's cute.
We all gathered back up in the kitchen later the next day to resume our figuring. Like you might expect we didn't get too awful far at all. That is, not until Teagan finally made her way down stairs in relatively better conditon. And that's cause when he saw her, Dex went to say hi and wave to her, which made him drop that gun-shaped knife thing of his. Which THEN thunked tip first right into my hardwood floor.
"Oh damn it boy! Y'all are steady fucking up my whole house!" I barked.
But about that time Milo got this strange look on his face.
"Hey Teag... HEY! HEY!!" He yelled. "Teagan! That guy who made these things!" He said, yanking the cutlery from MY HARDWOOD FLOOR. "Maybe he knows something about what we can do to help her!"
"HOLY SHIT!! BANG RATTLE" Sounded from over near the fridge where Jasmine had been pilfering around for food. "Oh god... Oh god..." She groaned, holding her head as she slowly shuffled over to the table.
"Oh honey... Your poor head. Are you alright?" I tried to ask but she just held a finger up at me.
"Mm. M-mmm..." She mumbled, trying to hold still as much as possible until she was able to take a deep breath and talk again. "Do... Do you think that would work?" She asked Milo.
"It's worth a shot. We should at least try. Teag, do you have any contact info from him or anything? What was his name." He said.
"No. I am sorry, but we did not get it before we leave." She said. "But I am thinking his name was Hephaestus. He says to call him Hep also."
To spare you some boring dialogue, in about 30 seconds that idiot savant had found him on... fucking Facebook. Turns out he's pretty easy to get in touch with through his day job not making vampire fighting equipment. About another 30 seconds later we all gathered around the phone set to speaker as it rang.
The other end clicked and someone on the other side answered, "HELLO! If this is the IRS I already told you to suck my ass."
"That is the strange Tony person." Teagan whispered.
"Um yeah hi. I think I'll take a rain check on the ass sucking." Milo replied, causing everyone else to chuckle. "Any chance we can chat with Hep real quick?"
"Oh shit! Right right!" The Tony man said. "Gimme a second." We then heard him say something with the phone way from his face that sounded like "Here. Run this out to him." Followed by the familiar sound of metal tinking and the sound of some kind of power tool getting louder in the distance.
"Heeeello! You got Hep!" Another voice answered.
"YES HELLO!" Milo said loudly. "Hi yeah, my friend and my wife just left your place a few days ago. You remember?"
"Wait! You two are married?!" Lesley shrieked. "Really?!"
Milo and Teagan both held up their left hands showing off a small black band tattooed around both of their ring fingers that apparently none of us noticed before.
"AWWW! That's adorable!" Jasmine and Lesley both cooed in unison, causing Joannah to groan in disgust.
"We got married in Romania... In Vlad's castle. It was the last thing I used my inheritance money on other than the plane tickets back here." He said with a big, proud grin.
"That is just beautiful." The voice in the phone spoke up, causing us all the jump a little. "Yeah, still here guys." The man said.
"Oh right..." Milo says back into the phone. "Uh, so we kinda have a situation."
"Your buddy went psycho and tried to eat someone?" The voice interjected.
"I... Yeah. How'd you know?" Milo asked him.
"I had a hunch that things might go tits up with your girl in the garage over there. Guess my little friend was helpful after all." The man said, making us all lean back away from the phone.
"How... do you know she's in the gargage?" Milo said, joining the rest of us in looking around the room suspiciously.
"Don't worry about it." The man said, increasing our worry. "Now what do you need from me?"
"Well..." Milo answered, "We were hoping you'd know how to fix her... or something."
"....... I do not. BUT," He continued, "I think if there is a way, I know the people who would know. I'm going to give you their number. Just tell them Hephaestus told you to call. That should get them talking."
Then he gave us the number to call, wished us luck, and hung up. We didn't waste a second dialing the new number. We sat the phone back down on the table and circled around again, listening to the ring.
CLICK "Worst Hotel, front desk! Who the fuck is this?!" A voice shouted through the speaker.
We all looked around at each other, all seemingly collectively thinking that the art of answering the phone has really taken a dive.
"Uh hi, my name is Milo and I was told to call by Hephaestus! Who the fuck is this?!" Milo shouted back.
"Ugh... God damn it. I hate taking these. Jesus what a day... Hello my name is Lezley. How can I help you today?" The man says.
"Oh my god my name's Lesley too!" Lesley chirps excitedly.
"Like O... M... G! Do you like... wanna totally be BFFs and like have sleepovers and talk about all the cute boys on the football team and like do each other's nails and stuff?!" The man on the phone said in the most heavily condescending tone I think any of us ever heard.
"Asshole..." Lesley whispered to herself before walking away from the table.
"What the hell do you people want?" The man asked.
"Our friend is a half vampire, werewolf thing, I think, and she's trying to eat us." Milo says into the phone. "We need to know how to fix her."
"An orichalcum infused weapon to the head or the heart ought to fix her." The man replies, sending Jasmine into a shit fit.
"Uh, no can do good buddy. We're going to need her alive." Milo said once we got Jasmine settled back down.
"UGHHH!! Ok god! You said she's trying to eat people yeah?" He asks.
"Yeah, that's right. She bit a chunk out of our hosta-er... Out of Mark. Ate his finger too." Milo answers.
"Jesus. Have any of you EVER watched a vampire movie? What do vampires need?" The man asks in the same condescending tone.
""Blood?" Milo half answers half asks.
"Yes blood dumbass! And what happens when they don't get what they need for a while? They flip the fuck out! So... how about... and hear me out hear... YOU GET HER SOME GOD DAMN BLOOD!" The man yells at us.
"So... we just go in there and give her some of our blood?" Dex asks. "That's easy enough."
"No you jackass!" The man barks at him. "Not unless you want her to bite a chunk out of your stupid neck! Ok look... You idiots obviously can't be trusted to think this through yourselves, so here it is. Right now you need to find a way to slide her a BIG bucket of FRESH and COMPLETELY HUMAN blood. If she's only half vampire, however the fuck THAT happened, then she'll probably only need a small amount every now and then. Regular food should work most of the time. Pure vampires get their nutrition from liquefying the entire body and sucking that up. If she doesn't have the ostial-dentitions you see on regular ones, and her tongue isn't partially bifurcated, then she's probably get most of her nutrition from regular sourses. And once she's calmed down you'll be able to donate to her directly, but unless you want her to tear you a new asshole, right now you need to find some way to get her the blood while she's all bitey and shit. This is just how she is now. You don't fix werewolf and you don't fix vampire. Deal with it. God I feel like I'm just hear to explain shit to people all the damn time. CLICK"
And with that the guy hung up, leaving us all looking at the black screen in silence. After about 30 seconds of gazing into the touch screen void Jasmine finally broke the quiet.
"I guess we need human blood." She says.
Milo responds, "What a coincidence! I know someone who has some to spare!", grabbing a metal turkey baster syringe and a large tup-a-ware bowl before starting for the garage with a spring in his step.
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU PSYCHOPATH?!" Joannah shrieked at the top of her lungs, stepping in front of Milo with her arms spread, blocking his way.
"What?" Milo questioned with the most bullshit feigned innocent tone possible.
As y'all can imagine, that didn't go well and the rest of us damn near had to break up a fist fight. After we got them two cooled down... about 30 minutes later... we started figuring on how we was supposed to come by a heap of fresh human blood. Long story short, it's pretty obvious a blood bank would have something to do with our solution, but we sat around for hours trying to come up with a heist game plan before that lovable moron Milo said something I still ain't sure was smart or dumb. But I gotta admit, didn't none of us think of it.
"Why don't we just run in, grab it, and run back out?" He asked us all, sitting up from where he had been laying down on the floor.
"What are you talking about?" Trey asked him.
"I was just thinking, how many people try to steal blood from a blood bank? It's not like they keep that shit in a vault with a bunch of armed guards and stuff right?" Milo explained, which actually started making some kinda sense.
So we all decided, we was gonna smash and grab a blood bank. We found one a respectable ways away online first, then we had to decide who was going.
"I'm thinking Milo." Trey said. "I mean if something does go to shit and he gets shot he can heal. We can't."
Everyone seemed to agree, then Teagan spoke up. "Then someone will have to also go with him." She said.
"Why's that honey?" I asked her.
"Teag n-!" Milo started but Teagan said it before he could stop her.
"Because Milo does not know how to do the driving." She said.
"THANK... YOU... TEAGAN! Thank... you..." Milo says loudly.
"HAHAHA! Oh my god you don't know how to drive?!" Joannah cackled mockingly at the poor boy, who's head was now hidden down in his arms.
"HEY! You behave you little shit." I scolded her. "It's ok sugar. We ain't gonna judge you none here." I comforted him, secretly taking out my little note pad and putting a check under the stupid section of the smart/stupid tally I had been keeping of him through the day.
Anyway, I ended up volunteering to drive the little hoodlum cause I had a dummy plate for my Wrangler that weren't nobody looking for and that don't trace back to my house. And once the next day rolled around we were ready to get wild. We figured sooner was better than later to get our situation somewhat stabilized again. Plus we figured the more time we had to think about it the more likely we were to come to our senses and chicken out.
submitted by joshuawaggoner90 to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 14:20 sugardatingmeet Dating Bisexual Women - Where to Find Her

Dating Bisexual Women - Where to Find Her
You are attracted to her but are confused. You think that she may feel the same way about you, but she is with another man. Is she bisexual or is she just being friendly? This is a question that plagues many lesbian or bisexual women who are looking to date other bisexual women. Below are some good places to look and find women who could be bisexual and interested.

https://preview.redd.it/kvh3127474m51.jpg?width=1058&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e25f5802ecbdea0b00b56843d29ab38e256f58b
Your first stop should be an online dating site. Here, you will find women who will indicate their sexual orientation on their profiles and let you know first hand whether or not they are bisexual. This will save you the embarrassment of walking up to a girl in a bar and asking her whether she hooks up with both men and women.
Many women, whether gay, straight or bisexual tend to feel comfortable in the company of gay men as they know that they will not be harassed. A gay bar is therefore another great place to meet bisexual women. If you already have gay friends who frequent that particular bar, you could use their help in pointing out a bisexual woman for a potential date.
Be sure to attend your next LGBT gay rights rally where you are likely to meet bisexual women. This is a great platform for championing gay rights, with the added bonus of meeting a potential love interest. The important thing is to be honest and upfront and ask her if you are in doubt about her sexual orientation.
submitted by sugardatingmeet to bisexualdatingapps [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 23:09 EventFull11 Get This Girl Off The Internet.

This post is going to be lengthy, and I'm not sure how the reddit Algorithm Works. I will try to see if this reaches anyone anyway since this is an important issue if you're up to date with wanting to save children from pedophiles. Feel free to DM me if you want any info on how you can help.
Hi, My name is Miguel. I'm an amateur photographer from Queens, New York. As a photographer, I use instagram quite a lot. Like most men, I like sexy women. I follow a lot of bikini models, lingerie models, etc. After some time on instagram, I came across an account by the name of barbiedolllauren. I thought she was super sexy. She posted photos in lingerie, bikinis, thongs, and the like. I was intrigued on getting to know this girl until I found out. SHE WAS 14/15/16 SINCE SHE STARTED HER INSTAGRAM! I know, it makes me look bad. But the truth is, her age is not mentioned anywhere. It was extremely concerning to me. I reported the account immediately. Instagram did nothing, surprise.
I'm all for women being confident in themselves and feeling sexy, but not when they aren't women. This person is a child. As an experiment, I decided to a bit more digging into who this girl was to maybe take it to the police, seeing as she's massed over 20k followers from flashing her underage body on the internet. I made a few accounts to stalk and take screenshots of the things she posts to maybe take to the police. The police have done nothing so far.
I found out that she used to have a youtube channel in 2017 wish under the name PrincessGames and committed fraud over a sexual harassment case involving a 5150 (mental health professionals and police forcing you to a psych hospital) because she was having suicidal thoughts and posting them online. She took donations for a lawyer and never pressed charges and likely spent that money on an iMac.

Upon doing some more digging, I found out that there was a group of women actively calling the police constantly trying to get her accounts taken down. I was so glad that someone was finally doing something. I also found Someone named Kat G on youtube also made an amazing video about it called "instagram needs to do something about this part 2" if you want to look at that as well. Of course, I should've expected, Lauren found their names and instagram accounts and sent people to harass them. Claiming that they're ugly and jealous. These women are in their twenties.She has messaged their loved ones and families with threats of the FBI tracking them for filing false police reports. No one has been arrested. This girl is quite literally crazy. After some time I was able to put together a detailed description of all her recent illegal behavior. I have sent this to the police and nothing has been done.

Among selling nude photos in the past and having them put on porn websites, she had broken many laws.
  1. Fraud: taking donations for a lawyer when legal aid is free in every state, including hers, Florida. She never pressed charges. She stole money from people
  2. (THIS IS THE BIG ONE) Living alone: She currently lives alone in her dad's friends house that she did NOT get from a real estate agent. The house is in the dad's friends name and she is living there, alone. The legal age to move out in Florida WITHOUT emancipation is 18. She has not been emancipated. She couldn't be doing to being a high risk mental health patient from the 5150 back in 2017. That goes on your record forever. She is living in that house illegally because she is by herself. Her uncle is on all her phone bills and bank statements. Her uncle manages most if not all of her money that she gets from "Simps" on the internet. I'm going to say she is "allegedly" still selling naked photos and videos because it's very much possible. The nudes that were on the porn sites I've seen are recent. Her uncle and dad must know all of this. She has no job, has never had a job, and probably won't get one in the near future. What kind of sense would it make to have all that money and have your own house, king size bed, loads of gaming equipment, etc, and not have your parents know about the horrible things you're posting. They know. They're okay with her breaking all kinds of laws either because they're bad parents or just want her gone because she is crazy.
This girl was/is ALLEGEDLY an underage sex worker, her uncle is likely pressuring her. His name is Anthony Guidetta and her last name is Parada. What kind of sense does it make for an UNCLE to manage all your money and bills if you're living with a parent? She also likes to talk about herself in a very narcissistic way. She is pretending to be a lesbian, and constantly says "i'm the age of consent" rather than her actual age so more pedophiles will like her. I have attached screenshots.

She has an extremely racist past as well I've found, after using the wayback machine to find her old twitter. This girl needs to be put in a psychiatric hospital or in jail. Same goes for her parents and uncle for enabling and allowing this behavior. Please report all three of her accounts.
accounts:
barbiedolllauren
barbiedollauren2
laureniscuterthanu
all of these accounts are on instagram. If you want to save the children, look to the prostituted internet celebrities as well.
submitted by EventFull11 to u/EventFull11 [link] [comments]


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